Bet they take their equal opportunity hiring policy TOO seriously.
If the writers think that showing the cast as a bunch of out of control, sex crazed idiots is casting anyone in a good light, they’re stupider then I thought.
Also, did I miss something, or did Torchwood just suddenly get a rift control system out of nowhere.
Also, what the fuck was that old guy supposed to be? Suddenly there’s a time traveling cravat wearing old dude, who “apologizes” for no reason that I can tell, then calls down a screaming rock and roll monster. Seriously he’s in two episodes and does nothing but swish around and then stab somebody.
Also, I officially dub episode ten “Chud Club”.
The “where the hell did that come from” plot point infects far too many episodes.
For example, the character of Eugene Jones in Random Shoes really should have made a few brief appearances in episodes prior to that point. It would have made him easier to feel sympathy towards if we’d met him earlier in the series.
The show could also have gotten away with more indications of something being up with Ianto prior to Cyberwoman.
Hell, about the only good bit of foreshadowing will probably never actually result in anything during season two, that of Owen scaring the Weevils with his weevil-like growl at the end of Combat.
A goofier Xfiles/CSI hybrid sounds like a great concept, and I so wanted to like this show. And I LOVED captain Jack when he was on Doctor who. But my god this show IS SO BAD.
Were there any single eps worth watching? I quit after the fairie ep. They seem to have interesting concepts from time to time, but the actual episode ends up a disaster. The ep where there is nothing paranormal going on, and it’s just people being evil? Neat idea. Evil fairies? Cool. But Jeez, what a way to ruin a good idea.
No. Just when you think an episode may be going somewhere interesting it becomes all about them, their problems, and their screwups.
The only one that even came close was “Countrycide”.
I’d say Countrycide and They Keep Killing Suzie were closest, but definitely no.
I thought Countrycide was shite. The plot made no sense, and the ending - both Captain Jack riding to the rescue on a tractor and his slow motion gunplay that left nobody seriously wounded - cemented its position as one of the worst episodes of the series. That and Cyberboobies. Combat was the closest to what they seemed to be going after, although even then, ack, what a ripoff.
They Keep Killing Suzie was mostly okay though. Shame that they immediately killed the idea of death being nothing but void with Random Shoes, where Eugene is ascended in a beam of light.
I’m resurrecting this thread because on BBC America tonight they ran the one with the thought-reading pendant and “They Keep Killing Susie” back to back, and I watched both of them, and I feel compelled to say out loud on the internets that Torchwood is unrelenting shit.
I’ve had the Sci-Fi channel on for most of the afternoon, seeing bits and pieces of three SciFi-channel-caliber horror movies back to back. And not a peep out of me.
Watching Torchwood I just couldn’t stop yelling “BULLSHIT!” at the screen. Suggesting that the whole thing was planned by Susie from the start – idiotic. Putting the lockdown override code in the ISBN of a book – moronic. “Maybe it will still register in the membrane of the keyboard!” – BULLSHIT! BULLSHIT! BULLSHIT!
It’s maddening. Even with the “Queer as X-Files” nonsense, this could have been a good show. But it’s just awfulness that never stops. And at the same time they’re doing cool stuff with a character who’s been brought back to life and conversations about the afterlife, they’ve sabotaged it with the absolute stupidest plot outside of a Saw movie.
The fact that there’s going to be a season two hangs over me like a death sentence.
I’m willing to give the second season a chance. But it’ll have to be a staggering improvement - I don’t plan to endure the whole thing in the hopes of it getting better, like I did with the first season.
I can’t watch this again - if it radically improves, or even if there’s some hidden gem episodes (or even scenes!) let us know
Somebody please paste together all the cool scenes and post on YouTube so we don’t have to watch the next season.
Wait, people have watched entire episodes of this show? I made it about 15 minutes into the episode I recorded off of HDNet and had to stop since I was running the risk of drowning in my own vomit.
I watched the whole season and I’ll probably watch the next one.
It’s terrible, I hate it, and I can’t stop. Something about the fact that it takes place in the Whoniverse makes me unable to look away.
Same here.
I still stick with my rationalization that the Cardiff branch of Torchwood was where they stuck all the losers only fit to do the cleanup work of putting the worldly belongings of deceased into storage and guarding low-level alien holding cells, all of which the writers explicitly showed them as being responsible for. It’s just that all the higher-ups and more competent agents got blowed up at the battle of Canary Wharf.
It’s the only way to rationalize their existence. That and UNIT has better things to do that weekend.
I thought that WAS the official explanation.
This show, Shark and probably Reaper are shows I don’t want to watch because I can’t make myself care about the characters.
I agree it’s bad, it’s really bad, but I am holding out hope for next season:
- Martha Jones will be joining the team
- I’m not gay, but Captain Jack constantly has me reconsidering that position
- I can’t stop looking at Owen and thinking he looks just like Adam Ant
- David Letterman saw an episode once and said ‘damn, that cop chick has a big gap in her teeth’. That’s something.
The elements are all there, but the actual shows seem to be written under the general premise that the team is actually serious and useful enough that the government and law enforcement organizations give them far too much access.
Except that the actual actions of the team within those same episodes suggest that they’re actually less than useless.
The one upside of the Sarah Jane Adventures is that when she phones someone up to help clean up things from the government side of things, it’s UNIT and not Torchwood.
To be fair, that’s exactly why I recorded it in the first place. Even though everyone was talking about how bad it is, I thought “well, it’s related to Doctor Who, it can’t be that bad, now can it?” But it can be that bad, and it is.