Weird Dreams

This thread is for all your weird dreams you’ve had recently. Come on in and post before you forget them, or dredge up a weird one from the past.

Last night I had two weird ones.

The first was that I was trimming my nosehair with a nosehair clipper, but it was some kind of huge, old, overpowered, 50s version that smelled like machine oil and electricity. I had the impression it could rip my nose clean off. In the dream I got a super closeup of nose hairs being trimmed by these giant, slightly rusted, oiled blades. The noise was phenomenal.

The second was that I was at a party with people I knew (acquaintances, no good friend’s faces I can remember), but on the way past a crowd I bumped a girl I didn’t know. I did the quick apology but she started going off on me. I tried to just move past her saying “I’m sorry, sorry” but she started chasing me and hitting me. In the dream I’m certain she was a complete stranger (and also maybe relevant, maybe not, someone I was not attracted to at all). Suddenly in the dream I had had enough after this abuse and I grabbed her by the throat, Undertaker style, and threw her out of the boxing/pro wrestling ring that the party had morphed into. There was then this big ruckus as people started either attacking me verbally or physically. I ran out of the party/ring ashamed, but also righteous somehow. There was an announcer there at the end two, calling the fight.

Two pretty weird ones.

I had a normal dream a few nights ago except that occasional bursts of sunlight kept falling down across my vision that I had to click on.

I have been playing way to much Plants vs Zombies.

This dream is years old now, but still the clearest one I remember.

I’m living in Alexandria, VA at this time, and my girlfriend is in New Jersey (which she’s not, but she was born there). I want to go see her, so I take hop on the metro. My friend Nute’s with me, and we’re just chatting about anything, when suddenly we notice that no one else is on the metro, and this is very strange. We get off at our stop, and the metro stop is hundreds of feet in the air, with no way to get down to the street. A bit weirded out, we get back on the metro and head to a different stop.

We exit onto the regular ground-level street and start walking to the bridge that connects Alexandria and New Jersey. But as we’re going, more and more people are starting to follow us, coming out of abandoned buildings, alleys, and up from the sewers (?). I’m walking faster and faster, but I don’t want to start running because I’ll never make, they’ll catch up to me and kill me. But I’ve got to get to my girlfriend! I can see the bridge in the distance, but everyone’s closing in, I’ll never make it, there’s no way I’ll make it.

I’m almost to the bridge when all of a sudden I see help coming from the bridge, and I’m saved! I’m going to make it! I’m so relieved that I exclaim aloud!

“Oh thank heavens, it’s the Wu-Tang Clan!”

And then I wake up.

Ha ha, that’s a weird and good one. I’m always curious what these dreams mean, if anything. Some explanations I buy, like flying being about the need to escape, and your teeth falling out being about health concerns. Other times it just seems like the brain is processing random weird stuff that doesn’t have any big meaning. A few weeks ago when I first played Settlers of Catan (for about 6 hours straight), I had dreams about wheat and coal cards that night.

My understanding is that dreams are just a by product of your brain sorting and filing information it gathered up during the day. Don’t read too much into them. :)

Years ago I once dreamed about chasing the Descent II thiefbot through corridors, vaulting down flights of steps at a time, etc. before finally bringing it down by emptying a handgun into it, whilst screaming in anger turned to triumph.

This dream meant that I hated the thiefbot’s digital guts and felt pleasure every time I killed it. I didn’t even have to consult a book to interpret that subtle symbolism!

The other day I fell asleep on the couch and briefly dreamed that I was falling off my bike. I jerked awake and threw the TV-remote that was in my hand at the wall, hard, and it hit about three inches from my fiancee’s face.

Dream-wise, the only thing I remember recently involved my thumb. In my dream I was absentmindedly picking at a hangnail or something, and I became aware that I was peeling off a thick piece of skin. It didn’t hurt. I looked down, picked it off, and underneath was the corner of what looked like a cube of orange jello. I grabbed a nearby pair of tweezers and pulled out the cube by the corner. It was jello, and it made a wet little sucking sound when it popped out of my thumb. And then there was another cube underneath that popped up like the next tissue in a tissue box. I pulled that one out too, and then there was nothing. Just blackness. I held my thumb up to the light and it was just hollow inside. And then I woke up. Makes me shiver when I picture it. I told my aforementioned fiancee about it while we were eating and she hit me.

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I just had a cool one this morning.

I dreamt my wife and I lived in a different house… a HUGE house that was a very old Victorian. It seemed to be slightly haunted and I was a little freaked as I heard something from the distant living room. So my heart is racing and I finally get to the beautiful mahogany based room and I’m even more freaked than before… I just can’t shake this creepy feeling even though I’ve reassured myself all is fine.

What was the problem? An old phonograph machine was playing scary music. Irritated I went over and shut it off, and all was fine.

My dreams have gotten a lot more ridiculous now that I live in a house with cable.

I had a hilarious one affected by episodes of Lost and Burn Notice. A Spanish assassin character was going to stab me with a knife for messing with his girl and because I was a ‘bad person.’ Thanks, Sayid.

I wish I had weird dreams. My dreams tend to be vivid, graphic, and horrifying.

I’d be a great horror author if I could bear to write them down. I’d rather just forget them, but sometimes I just can’t.

I dreamt once that I was lying lengthwise on some sofa in a strange place and a giant wasp the size of my head lands of my knee. Paralyzed and completely unable to move, it dropped its’ stinger and plunged it deep into my knee cap, right into the bone. I panic and wake up, and immediately I am very aware of a flash of intense pain at my knee, although it dissipated after a few seconds. I was on my back, in a completely normal position, sleeping by myself without anything to explain the pain beyond what my mind was tellng my body to feel. Psychosomatic dream!

Occasionally, I briefly wind up with some kind of opposite-of-sleep-paralysis. This morning, I dreamed some guy in a car threw a dead lizard at me, and as I woke up as I flinched and got tangled in my blanket.

Another time, I dreamed I couldn’t move my legs, and was trying to pull myself across railroad tracks before the train ran me over. I made a mad scramble at the last second, and woke up just as I rolled over the side of my bed.

To my knowledge, I’ve never sleepwalked, but I’m wondering if it’s likely.

The past week’s weirdest:
I was watching someone’s living room (a complete stranger), while this person was talking about his new houseplant. Then the plant got out of its pot and started walking across the living room and out towards a grassy hill, leaving a slimy trail of white goo.

The narrator/owner was telling me about this carnivorous plant and its diet (small furry animals), and how these bowel juices made a great beer “for real men”.

Had a few of those. One where a dog walked over to me, turned its head and but my knee. I walked with a limp after I woke up!

A recent visit to our other development lab was a bit stressful, and after adding in jetlag, I had a couple of weird work-related dreams. I can’t recall any specific actions, but there was this overwhelming sense of dread about trying to fill in database tables and discovering huge chunks of missing data and blank fields…

Why don’t I ever get the sexy dreams? :(

I had a stressful work-related dream recently. I was supposed to get to a meeting and work with a camera crew recording it.

The problem was, I didn’t know how to get there. I wasn’t even sure in what town it was. That’s when I suddenly started downloading all these map-related apps onto my Iphone (I don’t have an Iphone, but my sister does). The last thing I remember I was looking around and viewing the world through the phone’s camera and seeing this CGI overlay of routes and map data, like some futuristic google maps GPS implementation.

I have recurring locations in my dreams. Every so often, I’m at a location, which I know I’ve never been to IRL, yet I feel a sense of relief that it’s a familiar place, that I’ve been there before and know it well.

Apartment home: It’s a “small” 2 BR with kitchen and family room on the top right of a 2 story building. There is 1 unit across from me, and the same layout on the 1st floor. For some reason, there are no screens on the windows.

There’s a strange outdoor mall/carnival that I find myself at repeatedly. I never remember any of the specific stores/attractions, but the layout is identical every single time.

I had a totally awesome dream where I was making out with a beautiful woman who was not my girlfriend. My lips had gone to first base, my fingers and hands soon followed to second, and then I said “No, I can’t do this. If Amanda found out, she would be devastated and crushed. I’m sorry.” And so I left her there in the beach house bedroom, speechless, and made my way back onto the cruise liner.

I can’t even cheat in my [email protected]#$ing dreams. :( :)

I had two periods of weird dreams in my life, during which just about every night I would have at least one weird dream.

The first such period was when I was on Prozac. Every night, I had dreams of the people I love dying, leaving, shunning, or ignoring me, despite my flailing attempts to clutch to them for emotional support.

The second such period is early in my pregnancy. Nobody tells you about the sheer number of wet dreams you’ll have when you’re pregnant. Holy god, I think I had two wet dreams a night for like two months straight.

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“For real men. Sucking down whitish goo beer PROVES you’re a man.”