I have dreams about not taking jazz band in my senior year of high school, and how much I regret it because it was such a big part of my life up to that point but stuff got in the way. I wake up and I’m moping around for an hour or two before I remember that I DID take jazz band in my senior year of high school and that it was completely awesome.
I have serious concerns that eventually my dreams will replace my memories.
I get this. Sometimes it feels like something is hovering above the bed, about to fall on me. I have to get up and wave my arms to dispel the illusion (somehow, sometimes I know what’s going on), or turn on the light, as you say. It’s a creepy sensation, and I haven’t met too many people that have this phenomenon.
I used to have night terrors, and still do, sometimes, though it’s gotten better since the baby. Usually I find that it has to do with overheating. When I get too hot, my dreams get out of control. When I was pregnant, I ran 2-3 degrees warmer than usual, and so had night terrors all the time.
I had a really strange one last night.
I was at the house of a friend having a braai (barbeque) and I went to climb in his treehouse where I met Uma Thurman. (At this point you should probably know I have a gigantic celebrity crush on her.)
Anyway I spent the rest of the night juggling my time between her and my wife who was there and showing increasing signs of jealousy.
At the end of the night Uma asked me to do a line of coke with her which my wife saw so she dragged my ass home.
What made the dream so weird was how straight the whole thing played. Nothing outlandish happened at sll. We were just lightly flirting and talking about stuff like my job, how difficult it can be for more mature actresses in Hollywood and generally banal straight stuff like that. It was awesome but I’m feeling a little down this morning.
The other night I dreamt I was pulled over for going five miles over the speed limit, and sentenced to two months of house arrest. I had an ankle bracelet and everything, though there were a few hours – 9:45 am to 2:00 pm, generally – that I could go out. Every evening, the police chief would personally drop by my home to make sure I was in. And all I had with me to pass the time was the Sears catalog (the toy section was awesome that year).
Even though I’ve been out of college for almost 15 years, I still have dreams sometimes where I’m back in college and going to take a final for a class where I missed pretty much all the classes. Which never happened in real life, so I don’t know why I have that dream so often.
I also seem to have a lot of sex dreams that involve easy women. ;-)
Now that my father-in-law has inoperable cancer, I’ve been dreaming of dead relatives. Aunts, grandmothers, cousins, etc. Sometimes I miss them horribly, sometimes they’re undead and trying to kill me, whatever. It’s never pleasant.
I had just switched sides, going against the king and princess of the civilised parts of the galaxy. I was in the middle of an attack against a forest planet where some of their allies had some settlements, an insect-like species, when we were attacked from afar by the princess’ mental powers. She wasn’t really what she seemed, and psychics from our side revealed that the kind must have been dead for years while the princess was really the one in power. I guess I picked the right side after all.
Last night, a repeat I’ve had for many years:
Giant Jumbo Jet, flying too close to the rooftops. I go outside to track it, and it makes a wild turn, dipping towards the ground. It’s flying too close to tall office buildings, but missing all of them, and then turns toward my house. It’s going to crash into me. Instead of running, I go inside to get my camera. As I come out, it has totally disappeared.
have you ever had that dream where you’re standing on top of a pyramid in sort of sun-god robes while all around you millions of naked women are screaming and throwing little pickles at you?
Not naked women and pickles, but I have a recurring one on top of a gigantic pyramid with gladiator fights.
Could the women throwing pickles and mocking you represent insecurities about a small penis?
A flaccid Vlasic?
An ill dill!
I had a pretty sweet one last night.
I dreamt that I had a son, he was maybe 9 or 10 years old. He apparently had a special gift. You see, I was a PhD in particle physics OR WHATEVER and when he sat in the same room as I did when I was trying to work out new theorems or whatever the Hell it is particle physicists do, he’d somehow doodle out these revolutionary formulas that made all sorts of crazy scientific stuff possible.
Anyway, I took all the credit for his doodling because he was my son, HE’S MY SON, IT’S MY RIGHT AS A FATHER[/Michael from Lost] and I was afraid the Evil Military Industrial Complex etc. would exploit him.
So there I was, a part of some weird secret cabal of brilliant scientists in the employ of the aforementioned EMIC. That I had my son in tow was taken as just some weird stipulation of mine (I guess the mom was out of the picture). We were being sent to an isolated part of the globe to work on something, something big! I was not made aware of the true purpose of our operation but clearly it had something to do with ending the Iraqi conflict in a hurry since the first thing we did was teleport there. I knew we did that because it was my (son’s) invention.
We all gathered into a large auditorium and some general points about our mission were given to us in a briefing by some sweaty CIA spook. Then he went over to this comically large lever on the wall and I whispered to my son to hold his breath because that made what came next easier to handle. The spook yanked the lever and the entire interior of the auditorium teleported to Iraq. Boom.
We all walked out and my son and I secretly beamed with pride at the exclamations of awe and disbelief from the other scientists who had made the trip with us. For my part, I was taken aback by my surroundings for a different reason. We were in the middle of an army base, clearly. There were dozens of tanks and jeeps and helicopters, all armed to the teeth and apparently clad in some hyper-stealth type armor, gleaming black like insects in the hot sun.
Except it wasn’t hot. Giant doohickeys that looked sort of like power transformers were placed here and there on the tarmac, apparently absorbing the ambient heat from the air and converting it into energy to power up the stealth vehicles. GO GREEN, BABY!
The dream gets vague from this point but I do recall seeing a couple of soldiers covered in bright orange paint, apparently one of the scientists had invented an ENERGY BEAM that made all weapons and ammunition explode in bright orange paint that didn’t wash off easily. We were going to shoot it into the cities and then ID all the unarmed, orange-painted insurgents. OPERATION CLOWNFACE IS A GO!
I had an odd dream last night. In it, I was working as an interviewer for Nightline, or 20/20, or something like that. We were trying to get Michael J. Fox to talk to us on camera about the Tea Party movement, but he would only agree to the interview if I went out to Alaska with him, on a charter fishing excursion, and caught a king salmon with a rod and reel. Assuming I succeeded at that, I would then have to smoke the salmon and make him a smoked salmon roulade, with dill and cream cheese.
Who the hell does that guy think he is, anyway? Catch your own damn salmon!
Then I was awakened by the alarm, and shortly after hitting the snooze button, I was at a gospel church in St. Louis. They had an amazing brass section, and a decent choir. I was going to approach the music director about joining the choir, but just as the sermon was starting, a big, burly bounty hunter, covered from head to toe in tattoos and clad in black leather, kicked in the church doors. He also had a huge, pump-action Winchester shotgun. And he was after the guys sitting next to me – two dwarf twins, each with the body of a toddler and the head of G. Gordon Liddy. The only way you could tell them apart was by the lack of mustache on one of them. They were identically dressed in powder-blue, silk, Chinese robes.
It was weird.
I keep having dreams in the morning where I realise I’m dreaming and struggle to wake up. Then I wake up and get out of bed… only to realise that I’m still dreaming. And so on. Especially sneaky are the dreams that are set in plausible situations, like waking up and realising I’m in my parents’ guest room and wondering, “What, I didn’t spend the night with them, did I?” until it finally dawns on me that nope, I’m still dreaming.
I hate those. Especially when they involved going to work and actually getting stuff done. Why do I need to do the same stuff while I’m sleeping that I do while I’m awake?
I get those too, except I’m usually drowning or burning or something, or my family is being tortured, etc. Then I wake up, think I’m awake, same thing happens, etc.
Once I wouldn’t believe my wife that I really, really was awake (and I WAS) and I ran out of the room and waited to be tortured again.