I just spent, over the course of the last three days, about four hours playing this game. I think the most fun I had was during the tutorial. It’s been steadily downhill from there. How can a game that gets a 9+ score on GameSpot be not only NOT fun, but actually manage to make me feel like I wasted several hours of my time?
The majority of the game, so far, has been-- I kid you not-- figuring out how to drive from point A to point B!
Which would be fine if the game had a decent automap. But it doesn’t. It has an overhead radar view of… nearby traffic. Great. You also get a directional pointer which always points toward your destination. As the crow flies. So if there’s a body of water in between you and the destination, you’re screwed. Yes, this game forces you to actually bust out the included poster-size map of the city and actually spend time determining the best route from point A to point B. Sometimes with minimal descriptions in the F10 mission text. If you don’t pay attention to the cutscenes (and I’m so fed up with the tedium of this “game”, I can barely force myself to watch them) good luck figuring out a route on the fly without timing out on the mission.
Let’s see. We’ve had automap functions in D&D style computer games for, what, 10 years now? Why should I have to go through the incredible tedium of planning a route through a city? What kind of sick bastard considers that fun in any way, shape or form? I just don’t get it. It was lame in GTA3 (which at least had faster cars and better radar mapping), and it’s even lamer in Mafia. How is this even remotely considered gameplay? HOW? The mind boggles.
To be fair, it hasn’t been all orienteering. There has been a little bit of gunplay. Which is unsatisfying, because of the funky third person viewpoint and the clunky on foot movement. It’s difficult to tell when you’re behind cover, and when you’re not. The aiming is screwy for the same reason. Will my shot go around that wall? You can’t look down the barrel, so your only option is spray n’ pray. You can do some crazy max-payne style rolls, but your character controls like a tank, so it’s usually easier to forgo all the fancy footwork and just plug everyone.
Then there was the time that I was pursuing a guy who just stole money from us. Hey, car shootout, fun, right? Well, I couldn’t aim for crap firing out of the car (oh, the joy of third person gaming). So I settled for trapping his car and forcing an on-foot battle. I trapped his car against a wall, at which point he usually hops out and starts shooting. But not this time. He rolled back and forth in the driver’s seat in some kind of endless “I’m trying to get out of the car but I can’t” loop. I tried shooting him over and over, but nothing. I finally got bored and blew out alll the tires on his car, at which point he suddenly managed to pop out of the vehicle and… shot and killed me. At which point I had to repeat that part of the mission for about the sixth time.
Seriously. What kind of fucked up people consider this an enjoyable game? You start out as a TAXI DRIVER for God’s sake.
It’s kind of a shame because the graphics engine is amazing, and the story seems solid enough. But dear jesus, if I am forced to play any more of this game, I’m going to chew my mouse hand off.