Heya axisandallies,
You have inspired me to join the community here. Like you, I’m a long time lurker, looonnnggg time gamer, and I have recently started to deal with depression and mental issues. I’m also a professional too, and fairly well-established, but I’m finding a lack of meaning in my work. So far, I’ve dodged health issues, but you never know - something could always be just around the bend. That’s life, I guess.
Your post has resonated with me, since I am also dealing with a lack of energy in gaming, and I’m re-evaluating the things that I spend time on. I have been trying to figure out my purpose in life, and what it means for me to be alive, right now. Maybe you are going through something similar… I have not been able to find real-world connections for support, I even find it tough to talk about these things with family and long time friends. I’ve attended some counseling sessions, and it gave me a good start, but I haven’t built up the courage yet to join in a support group. Good for you to take that step, and I really hope that it helps you to find that social connection that everyone needs in their lives.
If you ever need to connect with somebody to talk things through, feel free to get in touch. I hope that having the minis to put some energy into gets you through, and gives you a creative outlet. I have done modeling and painting for a long time, and when I get the bug to paint, it really helps. I find the process to be more rewarding than the final product.
Good luck to you, and thanks for the inspiration! Your words hit home over here, at least!
For gaming as an escape or mood changer, I find I need to pay attention to how a game actually makes me feel rather than how I think it does. Online shooters for example, I used to play a lot until I figured out I was spending a lot of time being unhappy. For whatever reason when I play a shooter online I never come off feeling great, even when I do well. It just makes me pumped up and angry. So I dont much play them any more.
It might be worth paying close attention to how certain genres make you feel before using them as a support. Which games make you genuinely smile when you play? Make you actually relax instead of eat up time getting frustrated.
I have not been through what you folks are going through but to state the obvious, we are all getting older and sometime that “days left” number is going to take an unexpected jump down for all of us. I suspect this thread may become a permanent thread of the site and a welcome useful one as people dip in when times get tough for them.
Thanks for starting it axisandallies and good luck.
Wow, I have a lot to say to this, but the biggest thing that jumps to mind is that you seem to be placing a lot of pressure on yourself. You do not have to game right now. Game because you enjoy it. If you do not, do something else for a while. You are not defective because your old hobby is not clicking for you right now.
Through all of this, try to be gentle with yourself. You seem like you are beating yourself up a little bit, and there is no reason for it. Be kind to yourself.
Glad you seem to be doing better today. Don’t let that fool you though, depression can have ups and downs and it’s easy to assume all is good during the good times and not get/continue help (yes, this is from personal experience). It sounds like you found a group so that’s great. Just wanted to toss in some support and let you know you’re definitely not alone.
I wondered what this was in the gaming section but once I read it it makes sense. It belongs here. I wonder how many people that, for one reason or another, have time to game end up also having issues due to the thing that is giving them time to game! Circular logic but … it can be quite eye opening in a supportive voice com in a game when many of the “regulars” mention why they are regulars online. However, a support group dedicated to support is probably best. At a time when you least want to deal with people, but need support, having negative interactions is particularly harmful as you saw. What Rod said about genre’s also should go for the community. If it makes you feel worse, that is a serious consideration.
Right now you need to focus on you. The support group is good. The doctor you see for your illness should be conversant with depression as an added complication. Have you mentioned this to your doctors? You should. You are in remission, but depression can affect the immune system, and it should be addressed. You are not alone. I have my own reason or another for more gaming time too. We even have similar tastes in games.
I did have one odd thought. You say you are ambitious, that can help now. The thought that popped up was a quote from Muhammad Ali, I’m sure because he recently died.
“Don’t count the days, make the days count.”
Yep, a terminal illness will certainly make you count days. But, he was ambitious too. Make the days count.
Hey be sure to check out the hobby thread where merryprankster and others are posting their mini jobs.
So many people smarter than myself have already shared some hopefully helpful thoughts, so I thought I’d just say welcome. I hope you can work through your challenges to get to a place you are more comfortable.
Axisandallies - I don’t know if this helps but you’re not alone. I waffle back and forth with my own disease, and it is an odd duck when yo finally have time to play and enjoy games but it feels empty. Depression goes hand in hand with terminal illness whether you’re in remission or not. Lots of amazing advice from wonderful people here.
I have one suggestion for you. To help your gaming feel special again have another hobby or one other thing to do. It is weird, but when your only outlet is gaming and you have tons of time to do it, it loses some of its feeling if amazement and fullfillment. For me that other hobby is my frog bog, pond, and garden. though I often can’t do anything with my frog bog, i.e. I’m in the hospital right now and have a long recovery ahead as it wrecked my left lung pretty bad, but I’m so looking forward to Warhammer Total War when I get home, and easing back into backyard stuff when I feel up to it.
It is frustrating when you have your games but you feel like you’re just pushing buttons to fill time instead of getting that natural high off having fun with them. So I hope the example above might give you some hope to show you’re not alone in those facets of your life right now. (BTW my wife cheated on me while I was in a coma and left me shortly thereafter when I was in terrible shape. Some people are amazing in their support of a spouse who is in bad shape, and others not-so-much).
We’re here for you :)
Possibly of interest:
Best wishes to you guys struggling with depression! PLEASE reach out to get the help you need!
A good hobby for gamers is RC aircraft. There are local clubs to join, or at least go check out. Another good one is 3d printing, especially if you like miniatures. Also, not sure about your medical condition, but consider buying a bike. Pedal bike that is.
Sent from my Nexus 6 using Tapatalk
^ such great people this users are :)
It’s been a little over a month since this post, and I was wondering how you were doing? Hopefully, the forum migration didn’t make things more difficult for you. We’re all still here, and I’m sure I’m not alone in saying I’d like to know if you’ve had any positive progress.
I’ve not been doing very well. My symptoms are worse and I’ve started having really bad thoughts. I feel alone even talking to people. I feel no more connection to anyone or anything. Nobody gives a shit and its really putting the zap on me.
Did you end up going to the group meetings you found? Did it help at all? There are also helplines if you are uncomfortable meeting people face to face to talk about it. My sister volunteers at one called NAMI warm line.
I did end up going to a meeting or two. It really didn’t help.
I don’t think that’s enough time for the meetings. Please keep trying or find another group. Or other outlet.
edit: and I along with everyone here give a shit.
In the few meetings that I went to, I listened to other people’s stories, empathized, cried and grieved. I told my story to dead eyes as everyone else waited for their turn to speak. Afterwards, I tried mingling for a while and told people their stories touched me and I was just stared at. Cliques had already been made. Its much the same as everything else in life.
Edit:
Stupid board.
Sorry, got an email from this thread and thought I was replying to just that not the entire board.
I’d also encourage you to stick with the group, Mr. Allies. Although I don’t know the specifics of what group you went to, the process is the point. You’re not necessarily there to make friends or to cultivate a social life. There are other activities you can pursue for that (boardgaming groups, hiking clubs, churches, YMCA fitness classes, etc.). The group is to help you work through your situation by articulating it, being aware of the experience of others, and creating a routine around addressing whatever issue you’re experiencing. It won’t automatically make things better for you and it won’t be something that happens quickly. But it can be a valuable tool for you to eventually make things better.
-Tom