First twitter kills the complex thought, now it kills telling a joke.
Twitter is doubleplusgood.
So let’s say you tag something #tcot, which stands for “Top Conservatives on Twitter,” and you tinyurl Lemonparty, and you describe it as, “Michelle Malkin drops the hammer on Libs AGAIN.”
It is also nice because it puts you in touch with your leaders. For instance, see how I was able to communicate directly with a Conservative African American Presidential candidate this morning.
![[b]Tired of Obama’s Sour Lies?[/b]](http://i.imgur.com/Qdg6w.png){kind=link}
I just thought people were talking about their favorite IRC channels.
Oh, that was a joke? You should totally be on Born in the 80s.
Rajah Sulayman puppet sex puppet sex puppet sex puppet sex. #googlebomb
It was apparently enough of a joke to go way over your head. To wit:
Bill: Will you two just fuck already?
Me: Way ahead of you.
You: You … already fucked them?
#CaptainDuh
Don’t forget ipad iphone iphone4 android evo kindle ipad2
#funny!
You’re forgetting the part where you said “Will you two just fuck already?” first, and Bill mocked you with that image, and then you made your reply, which made it look like either you didn’t notice that it was Bill mocking you and you were staking your claim to the “Will you two just fuck already?” line or that for some reason instead of mocking their bickering now you want to have sex with both of them and in fact already have.
In summary: Your tired Three’s Company-era sitcom line plus your non sequitur of similar origin does not work as a joke, and at best is simply weird. Plus bonus unfunny points for the hashtags. But boy, have we got a podcast for you!
My “Way ahead of you” wasn’t me saying “I said that first,” it was me saying “I have already have had sex with these puppets.” in response to Bills rejoinder to my original “WYFA.” I had assumed it was kinda obvious, hence the #JokeExplainer bit.
Of course, the irony here is that our bickering has superseded Bill and Jon’s bickering, which means that you and I have to have sex. At least, we would if you weren’t so clearly on the rag right now, as evidenced by:
In summary: Your tired Three’s Company-era sitcom line plus your non sequitur of similar origin does not work as a joke, and at best is simply weird. Plus bonus unfunny points for the hashtags. But boy, have we got a podcast for you!
The thread title does not disappoint.
Post a podcast?
That’s a flogging.
Look at my beard?
That’s a flogging.
Flogging the school canoe?
You better believe that’s a flogging.
A little blood never hurt anybody, Rajah.
I’m not sure what crime you have committed against the QT3 community to be savaged like you are the second coming of Jose Liz. I have to agree with the hordes that you really aren’t funny. I think some people here gave you too much encouragement when you were doing your “dramatic readings” of posts on QT3.
I listened to one of those, and it wasn’t fun. Or humerous. Or even entertaining, but I soldiered through it and god help me I may have even said something nice about it in that thread. (I haven’t searched it, but I remember thinking maybe I should say something nice.)
I am sorry you are getting destroyed in this thread, I either missed something or you pissed off the wrong people, but seriously “Jon Danger”…You were born without the funny gene.
Jon, I’ve realized how bad your banner is.
This thing just screams low-rent; there’s absolutely no energy at all. This is the most bored I’ve ever been by a platypus, and I’ve watched Kirk Cameron use one to argue against evolution.
The poorly traced “James Franco at the Oscars” face, the hands that are completely indecisive on the style they use, the whole thing looking to be drawn in marker, it’s a train wreck and you couldn’t even pull off the hat due to poor planning alone.
You could have gone with a hyphen as a joke, “Dr. Dan-ger”, shrunk the text size, made the hat bigger, or gone all out and made it a big ol’ lampshade in a stereotypical party drunk fashion. But no. You just lets the text run off the side like a fucking hack. You didn’t even go with little sticks holding the letters up that are glued to the hat. It just floats in mid-air.
Meanwhile, you have a bottle that could be “vino” or could be “vinegar” because it wasn’t planned out properly, a blue bottle suggests nothing of the contents, and it isn’t even shaped properly to determine. It doesn’t even have some hint of the nearly empty liquid inside it which would reveal the liquid inside. And it should. There should at least be some liquid gathered in the corner, probably a red wine for visibility, sloshing slightly to show the exaggerated motion you want for this to provide some kind of energy to the joke.
Everything about the logo falls as flat as the jokes you’ve made here and on the podcast. Nobody even realized the “Rebecca” comment was a joke that I can tell, people just thought you meant some female poster or someone named Rebecca you’d mentioned before or in the podcast.
Even the font is terrible, man. You couldn’t have picked a more unfunny font if you went with comic sans. Why the hell did you pick a serif font with mostly thin lettering, sharp edges, AND curves that end with thick curls and balls? It’s a straight up formal font. Helvetica has more comedy potential.
Look.
Here’s some free fonts. Optimally you should hand draw it, but I think we know how THAT goes, so here’s a few things that carry that feel. Switch that shit up to something I found in two minutes of looking and you’ll already start off funnier. Hell, platypus is a funny word. Two hard "p"s, a “y”, and a “puss” in there, that’s good. Why ruin it with a wedding invitation font? And stack that shit diagonally while you’re at it. Party top left, platypus bottom right. Let the former look like it’s hovering precariously over the latter even, with “ty” sitting over the “pl.”
Next, accept that you are NOT funny on the spot. You don’t have what it takes now to go off the cuff for an hour with a friend who ALSO lacks what it takes. Plan your work out. I just wrapped up year of a daily blog post project, and they’re not all winners by any means. I’m sure most aren’t, but I can accept that because I can look them over and improve. I can learn what makes some work and what makes some fail-learn what makes a LOT fail, even.
But I’m learning from it, and that’s something you’ve refused to do. That alone will prevent you from ever being funny.
You guyz quit piling on Jon he is hilari -
Merryprankster made the logo for me, it was nice of him.
You know what, seriously? Fuck you.
I had that image made for me by a friend, a real nice guy. You may think that my brand of humor is not that funny, but don’t go bagging on this guy who inked something nice for me.
It is no longer on the front page of itunes any more, so it will be getting a lot less attention now. I look forward to sinking back into the anonymity of podcasting like every other schmo who has a show.
You say that I refuse to learn?
HOW? I just started doing the podcast. I have maybe 2-3 posts on the site that aren’t of the recorded variety. I am not a web designer, I am a person who enjoys recording bullshit with his friends. The only comedy I have ever really written is some short plays that have been produced by a few local groups. I am not an article-writer at large. I made the website, and I found that out.
I am much more of a spontaneous person. I do improv, and my group, “Experiment Royale” is a lot of fun. We perform about once a month, and get about 40-50 people to show up and pay us real american money to be funny. I am not seeking some sort of compliment from anyone. I get enough of that doing what I am good at, which is Improv. Our group was actually voted the number one favorite Improv group in the “Best of Madison” awards last year. (Probably won’t get one this year, because they changed the voting around) But that group is once a month, and I spend the rest of the month wishing I was doing that. It is hard translating that over into a radio style show, but we are working on it.
We probably should have done some stuff before putting up a podcast, but what do you do? How do you rehearse for that? You just throw it up there and pray like hell that it lands, and then take your lumps and work from there. I started the show with my best friend in the world, as a means to have a real excuse to get together. He and I moved away from eachother (a bit) and I am in a serious relationship. This does not bode well for having a “buddy”. I started the podcast as a means to keep a connection between ourselves, something that we would have to do each week to keep hanging out.
As for the High Plains Drifter comment, seriously, watch that movie. The clint-raping in there is weird, out of place, and completely unresolved at the end of the movie. What is he? A ghost? The ghost raped a lady? Are all ghosts like that? If so, Ghost Dad becomes a lot scarier of a flick.
So, that is all I have to say about that. I will post a link if I get someone from qt3 on, otherwise. I am done.
Experiment Royale actually got the silver for best ‘arts group’. So I guess that’s kind of impressive.
Then again, Monkey Business Institute got the bronze and just that name reminds me of why I hate improv*.
Too bad Experiment Royale’s site lacks video or audio of performances. Or a place to actually put those at all. And under photo it just says that there aren’t any photos. It might be interesting to actually see some of it. I’ve got some friends who do improv and I like them a lot so I never tell them how awful it all is, but they’ve also never come in second to the local orchestral group for best ‘arts group’ in an area.
(Actually, I think one is in Improv Boston, but I’ve never seen them perform.)
*Dave Cross has a bit where he lists of typical improv troupe names, each dumber than the last. All of them are better than Monkey Business Institute. Except perhaps ‘The Assaulted Nuts’.