I broke several, all at once! On a motorbike, of course.
Ok, it wasn’t that bad.
I was suffering a bad mix of the following: a cold early morning pissing down with rain, tiredness due to stress, and a slightly higher than usual level of ADHD inattentiveness. I also, maybe, was going a little fast. Maybe. So, despite seeing an approaching traffic jam, I ended up braking a liiiiiittle too late, and consequently squeezed them a liiiiiittle too hard. I ended up in a tank slapper buuuut did exactly what you’re not supposed to do* and ended up with the wheel locking all the way to the left… before violently locking all the way to the right.
So I got thrown off about an eternity** later. My bike apparently slid and whacked the rear of a car in front of me. Fortunately, my body did not do the same. People stopped and helped me drag my motorbike off to the side of the road (no way my noodle arms were managing that). Then I stood there, in the still pissing rain, burning white hot with embarrassment for having inconvenienced so many people. Eventually an ambo came and I sulked off to the hospital.
I have no idea how much speed I’d dumped before getting thrown but when I bit the asphalt it caused hairline fractures in my left arm and leg. Not too bad. But that tank slapper? Well, the handlebars whipping round almost 180° at god knows what speed totally rekt the metacarpal for the thumb in my right hand.
I ended up getting surgery for that, had to have a rod inserted - I made a good recovery (I was lucky in that, according to the surgeon) and got the rod removed. The hairlines they didn’t even bother giving me casts for, but they hurt like hell regardless. I effectively lost the use of both arms for a couple months; every time I needed the toilet fox.mrs had to come and wipe my junk. It’s funny how you can be completely intimate with someone for years, know every inch of each other’s body… yet still feel totally alienated, vulnerable and, somehow, violated in such a situation (ok, I have body issues generally, but still).
Lucky I didn’t get pasted by one of the drivers behind me. I’ve avoided riding in rain since. Tho that stretch of road still makes my stomach knot a little when I drive through, even just as a passenger.
* That is, I gripped as hard as I could and try to force my way through it. Much fail.
** Approx. one second