A nice, quiet, multi-state killing spree.
Shot for the advice. I generally try to let things wash over me but whenever I feel like I’m getting somewhere someone does something stupid and my blood pressure goes through the roof and I want to break something.
Being short tempered doesn’t help matters. Speaking of which, does anyone have any tips about dealing with a temper?
Letting it rage so that other people learn not to trigger it works well, so I hear.
Anyway, I deal with stress by going to a weekly martial arts class, or generally trying to have a good time with my friends and/or dates. It’s amazing how much you can forget the bad stuff if you try a little harder to focus on the good stuff.
Music, long drives/walks into nowhere, quiet time and random hobo homicide also helps.
I tend to remember that I’m all grown up now so I simply let it go. I also try to remember that whatever is going on at the moment, it will pass - and I probably won’t even remember it 2 days from now.
Try to understand that violence isn’t a loss of control but an attempt to gain control. When someone gets frustrated at a video game, or during an argument with a partner, and then punches or kicks a wall, it’s a result of feeling like they have no control over the situation and are then trying to gain the upper hand.
The model that is used most often to talk about a temper is one that positions the temper as something boiling up and bubbling over and the person just ‘loses it’. The person is talked about as having no agency, their temper is something that they just lose. But you make a choice, in fact, a series of choices, to lose your temper, however split-second those decisions are, you decide to punch the wall or kick the dog. If you don’t believe me, ask yourself if there are situations in your life that you don’t allow yourself to lose your temper with. Do you lose your temper with a cop? With your boss? If the answer is yes, then you have more serious impulse control problems and should seek counsel. If the answer is no, then you are making choices about when to lose your temper. And can therefore make other ones.
Understanding why you’re feeling frustrated and angry will help you to find a better solution for dealing with the situation. Being able to say “This is making me really angry right now, I’m going to go breathe for two minutes and think about what I can do to navigate the situation” will be very useful.