Warning: this post is full of spoilers, skip it if you haven't seen the movie and listened to the podcast.
So the reveal that the Earth has another name (Unicron) tells us that the Earth is a Transformer. That's what the horns are. The nerd in the seat next to me freaked out and said 'what' several times when that happened. Maybe you'd also have freaked out if you had seen the best Transformers movie, the cartoon from the 80s, starring Leonard Nimoy, Eric Idle and--as the voice of Unicron, the planet-sized planet-eating Transformer--Orson Welles. Time to start saving up for next year's movie drive, I guess.
I'm pretty sure "to punish and enslave" has been on that one police car Decepticon for several of these movies. But maybe I'm wrong on that one. So maybe you don't have to attribute any good writing to this movie. Except for "Hey British lady shut up."
Did you guys like in the beginning when Marky is telling the little kids to get lost and one of the kids gives him some lip so Marky responds "Do you like getting punched in the face?" but didn't follow up immediately with "No I don't think so!"? I thought that showed real growth.