Return of the Jack Bauer Power Hour

Yeah, they should have just gotten Kim out to the Aunt’s house and had her skinny dip for the rest of the season. Maybe some terrorists could have stolen her clothes from where they were hanging on a tree or something. Then she could, you know, be running around naked trying to get her clothes back!

Watching all thebride/sister/oops I married a terrorist/but it’s really my dad crap makes me want to puke too. I only keep tuning in cause I want to see the President disappear people, and Jack kick ass and take names.

You forgot, “in slow motion.”

Well the Kim and So I Married A Terrorist plot lines aren’t so bad to me that they’re like ruining the show or anything. Not as good as the Jack and CTU stuff, of course, but they’re going somewhere.

I’d be real pissed about the idiot Kim plot if she didn’t grow even nicer bobos since last season, and they make sure she’s like nipping through her shirt a lot (like this whole episode). I can just ignore the stupid things she does and ogle for a bit before going back to action at CTU.

Prediction - Jack and Nina are forced to go into the field and work together for a few episodes. I would REALLY love him just to get the info and cap her, though.

Alternate prediction - Palmer never was going to pardon Nina. He just told Jack that because he knew Jack would then go force the info out of her.

if he can pardon nina, he can pardon jack for slapping around a few guards, kidnapping nina, and torturing and executing her in the field.

Dad is the financier, in order for Fox to say “NONONO, MIDDLE EASTERNERS ARE NOT TERRORISTS, IT WAS THE RICH WHITE GUY THE WHOLE TIME!”

This ep: slow burn. Just buildup for the outbreak of sheer craziness and rage that is inevitable next week. I don’t think said rage is fatal, but with Jack Bauer, YOU NEVER KNOW.

Nice to see Soulless Patch being pretty h-core again. Black suit, gov’t shades, bruises all over. Where is that black guy from?

Oh, and major “Hey, it’s that guy!” vibes from the new NSA advisor.

Yeah, he just died on Buffy!

Obviously, when you kiss Kim, you immediately inherit the “Bauer Kill Genes” as evidenced by Miguel’s “Bruce Lee-like” ass-kicking of the family beater.

And everyone knows you never drink water offered to you by Jack Bauer.

Did he or did he not wipe his mouth with the back of his hand, see the blood, and then give him that ‘You have just made a grave error’ look?

The president needs to give his ex a small dose of that treatment.

Yeah, seriously. I couldn’t believe that she had the gall to come to the president and tell him that she believes that people close to him are trying to take control of his administration. Seems sort of like Hitler telling Poland “I’m fairly certain that someone is planning to invade your country.”

And did her surprised reaction upon discovering the nuclear bomb threat seem a wee bit insincere to anyone else?

I almost thought that Kim was going to go an entire episode without doing anything stupid (according to my wife’s “24 Drinking Game,” Kim doing something stupid is a cue to take a drink). Then she stole Abusive Dad’s Fancy-and-Almost-Certainly-Equipped-With-Lojack car. Bad Kim!

SPOILERS - BIG ONES!

What, exactly, was wife-beater’s plan in taking dumb-little-girl to Mexico City (without his wife)? This plotline is just getting wierder and wierder.

Say, you don’t suppose that wife-beater has become wife-killer? Wouldn’t it just beat all if wifey’s corpse was in the trunk of the car Kim stole?

And, I dunno, I don’t think they would have brought back the pres’s ex-wife unless she was involved in this whole mess in some unanticipated way. Perhaps she knew about the bomb and figured the safest place to be would be next door to the president.

I said to some friends after the first episode that this will somehow turn into a “Seven Days into May” scenario somewhere, and I was right. Jeez, I just want to butt-whip a lot of those characters with a pistol. Only Jack is maintaining the high standards of bad-ass mutherfucker. Everyone else needs a whippin’.

Go, Jack! Go!

And a big ugh! goes to Tony and the whole “some good people died today so you better tell me the truth you murdering terrorist bastard” speech. L-A-M-E.

However, I am confused if it is the Dad or the groom. They may be pulling a double reverse on us or something. Is it the Arab, no it’s definitely the dad, no maybe the Arab is playing dumb. It’s definitely the Arab. Right? After last night, I have no idea.

It will probably turn out to be the sister.

Man, it’s only the sixth hour, and we’re already given the overt hint that it’s Papa Terrorbeard, not MaybeTerrorist? Aw crap, at this early in the game, that probably means Papa Terrorbeard is probably going to turn out to be superdoubleredherring, much like Nina being “cleared” last season.

Stoner Miggy spin-kicking Hiram Wifebeater was a bit too much for me. I’m all for glorious bouts of extreme violenc and ass-kicking, but really, the bandboyfriend is a little too much even for me.

Now I think even more that Raygun was a loyal NSA guy thinking about his country, and HeyIt’sThatGuy! and HomicideME-Aide are actually in cahoots with each other. That whole evacuation-order countermand thingy is an elaborate ruse to get Palmer to trust HeyIt’sThatGuy! more, and since HeyIt’sThatGuy! and HomicideME-Aide are already tight with each other, it paves the way for their double-cross later on.

Bauer is still badass. Nina hasn’t learned a thing. She flinched when Bauer shot at her. Even in Day 1, Bauer doesn’t flinch at being shot at(remember the limo?).

Dammit, my cable modem was down for 2 days or I would’ve written something earlier.

I dunno about you, but I’d spin kick some asstard all day for some Kim Bauer tongue-wrestling. Implausible as it was, watching Abusive Dad get his ass handed to him was really quite enjoyable. Oh, but doesn’t Abusive Dad have OnStar or LoJack or something that can track his vehicles, like when Kim took the daughter out in the SUV and Abusive Dad tracked them down? A stupid move, Kim, but par for the course.

Jack Bauer does not turn off his Bad-Ass Aura. Ever.

Just watch, four episodes from now, the terrorists will be neither Sinister Father nor Red Herring Raisa, but instead Raisa’s cousin - the guy he introduced to the sisters. And I bet the Evil Cousin will have an evil Terrorist Nickname, like “The Sand Spider”. Or something like that.

A good episode, because Jack Bauer continues to kick much ass, and Abusive Dad got kicked in the face.

Interesting theory… but didn’t Kim talk to the mother on the phone from the hospital (not this episode, I know, but not that long ago, timeline-wise)? Had the father arrived at the hospital already? I don’t remember.

The body wouldn’t be in wife-beater dad’s trunk if he was trying to FLY down to Mexico City, methinks.

I think Raisa knows more than he’s saying. Here’s the sticking point for me: he said he just approved those financial transactions because, “I didn’t want him to get in any trouble.” (talking about his soon-to-be father in law)

Now if he was actually innocent and didn’t know the guy was funding a terrorist, then why would he even think he’d get in trouble? A truly innocent Raisa would have said, “yeah, I approved transactions to this guy, it’s my father-in-law’s money. Holy shit, that guy’s a terrorist?!”

Gotta love Jack, though. Drugging his fellow agent to get at Nina alone, Hell Yeah! I’m glad they brought back Palmer’s wife already, too. She’s always good for second-guessing yourself over when someone’s being helped and when they’re being set up to take a fall.

Just saw the teaser bump for Tuesday’s 24. Mark my words - wifey is in the trunk of that Lexus Kim is driving.

Yeah, it sure looks that way. Even though it doesn’t make a lot of sense what with the phone call Kim made at the hospital and the dad’s desire to fly out of the country (leaving a body in his trunk in Airport Parking I presume, which isn’t a great cover-up job).

You guys all have a crush on Elizabeth Cuthbert while it’s really Michelle Forbes (Lynne) who is the most desirable woman on that show. Look at those cheekbones.

Bah. One, it’s Elisha Cuthbert. Two, have you even seen Kim Bauer run around on the show??