Star Wars Episodr IX spoilers thread

Warning! Let there be spoilers!

Oh cool, anyone seen it yet? I love spoilers!

This is going to be an even more divisive movie than TLJ. I can’t believe they killed off all the Skywalkers.

I hope an ewok does it.

I have seen pics from projectionists leaking it and figured out the plot and who dies from the StarWarsLeaks subreddit.

It feels largely unearned a payoff.

Rey is Palpatine’s grand daughter, Sicily’s has clones of Snoke and he kills Rey. Rey is resurrected by Kylo who gets a kiss from Rey and dies redeemed. Rey takes Skywalker name and ends movie staring into two suns with BB8. Hux dies freeing Rey as he’s a mole.

The leaks were right and this seems to invalidate the struggle and victories of the original trilogy.

Someone guessed successfully two years ago based on Rey’s combat style and music

"Anakin hated sand, and he was a slave on Tatooine! Luke longed to leave Tattooine! His aunt and uncle were murdered there! Leia capturesd by Jabba! Why would you insult them by burying their lightsabers there?”

I honestly can’t tell if you’re pulling our leg(s) here.

That sounds like an appropriate ending to this mess

I’m not.


This is a pretty interesting review with some minor spoilers.


Robot Chicken Palps is now canon.

RIP: In memory of those we lost

heterosexual couples still have a hard time having children in the future. even in galaxies far away. so they still visit fertility doctors and sperm banks. and Palpatine knows this. so he got a night time job as janitor at a sperm bank. and when every went home for the evening, he would disrobe and jerk off into all the donor vials. eventually the parents of Rey’s parents got sperm from the bank that Palapatine was skeet-skeeting at and that’s how the Star Wars saga eventually became what it is today.

I dig your thread, man.

There are no spoilers in that review!

Sorry I let you down.

It’s okay we’ll edit it in post

Well, lets just go with “I subverted your expectations” instead.

It’s actually a deleted scene but after Ben dies and Rey leaves, Jar Jar appears and kisses Ben, and Ben comes back to life and Jar Jar dies.