Well, you’re not supposed to eat the whole jar.
Oh god, cheesy goldfish… nom nom nom…
Everything but the plastic walls and lid is fair game!
For me, my (albeit rare) go-to treat is a Heath Bar Blizzard. Heath anything really. Chocolate, Toffee and some vanilla soft serve? Yes please.
It’s time to necro this thread in honor of Easter, and the seasonal availability of the best, most perfect Easter candy ever. It’s an egg, and it’s made by Cadbury, but it’s probably not the one you’re thinking of:
Look, we all love the Cadbury Creme Egg. But it’s a big, brash, overpowering sugar-bomb. It’s fondant center is too rich, and it’s altogether too sweet to enjoy other than nostalgically. The Mini Egg, in comparison, is relatively subtle, almost refined, by the standards of holiday candy. It has confidence. There’s no over-the top fondant creme, just a simple sugar shell, lightly flavored with vanilla, wrapped around a mild, creamy chocolate. It’s an grown-up’s holiday candy. Consider also the pure numbers game of it, for those of us getting on in years such that our metabolisms are slowing down. A single Cadbury Creme Egg contains 170 calories. A single 190 calorie serving of Cadbury mini eggs consists of 12 mini eggs! That’s a much longer effective snack-consuming time during which you have delicious candy in your mouth, especially if you’re eating them correctly.
And there is a correct way to eat Cadbury Mini-Eggs. Oh yes, and I have discovered it after many hours of experimentation.
First, take the egg and pop it in your mouth. Appreciate as the sweet vanilla flavor permeates your senses.
Now, do nothing. Don’t chew, don’t suck, just let the candy “be” in your mouth for about 20 seconds. This accomplishes two, equally important things:
- The heat of your mouth is slowly melting the chocolate center of the egg. Meanwhile,
- The moisture of your mouth is penetrating the candy shell, softening it.
After a few seconds, roll the egg back between your molars, and gently - GENTLY - crack it. This isn’t a bite: your teeth shouldn’t touch chocolate at all. The goal is merely to compromise the structural integrity of the candy shell. If you’ve ever peeled a hard boiled egg, this process should be familiar. You’re just applying enough pressure to crack the shell for subsequent removal.
Now, the beauty of the Mini Egg is revealed, because as you move it around in your mouth, you’re now able to taste both chocolate and candy shell at the same time. The chocolate in the mini egg should be almost entirely melted by now, meaning that the candy itself will slide apart. Your mouth is now coated in chocolate interspersed with bits of hard vanilla shell. At this point, your can bite into what remains of a recognizable form of the egg’s center. The unyielding shell provides a hard, sharp counterpoint to the creamy, nearly liquid chocolate. Finally, you can chew and swallow what remains.
Bear in mind, this technique is not for the faint of heart. The danger is that as the egg shell shatters and bonds with the liquid chocolate, if coats not only your tongue, but the roof of your mouth. The chocolate may stick there, and may in the process stab sharp shards of candy shell into your flesh. This being the roof of your mouth, you are powerless to remove it until the chocolate melts away entirely, and these sharp pieces may scour the roof of your mouth, leaving you with some small discomfort. However, it should be noted that this is not a bug, but a feature. For stabbing the roof of your mouth is God’s way of making you stop eating the Mini Eggs, otherwise you would simply eat them forever, trapped in the ecstasy of perfect snacking.
Also, they’re pretty good with coffee. It cuts the sweetness a bit.
Oddly enough, I opened this thread while munching on a fullsize Creme Egg. Even after all of THAT, I am still reasonably confident that mine was better.
Well now, after all that SOMEONE OWES ME SOME CADBURY EGGS NOW!!! Not nice.
I will be waiting by my door for the delivery.
Egg Cream (though it is a drink)
Yes. The wonderful thing about this simple drink is the total absence of egg. And cream.
So it’s the Grape-nuts of the beverage world?
This is the exact way I eat mini-eggs. And it is magnificent.
I’ll tell you. The best egg cream I ever had was at a candy store/comic book shop/diner around the corner from my old house in Brooklyn. It was run by an oler couple named Fred and Rose. In the back they had the old red and green leather booths studded with brass tacks on the upholstery. And they had blue and gold glass mirrors over the booths. As you walked in the counter was on the right. The comics were on wooden shelves on the left. Further back, on the left were the cheap toys on cardboard. Then on the right, the penny candy case. Then there were the booths. I’m talking some place straight out of the 1940-1950s. The counter on the right had those round stools that revolved.
You would go in and Fred would be behind the counter. You asked for an eggcream. It would be five cents or ten cents. The five cent size was one of those tulip shaped glasses that said Coca-Cola on them. The ten cent size was the same kind of glass but it was huge and it was a greenish color. It also said Coca-Cola on it. This old nasty man, who hated kids with a passion would make the best eggcreams in the world. First a couple of pumps of chocolate syrup. Then a dollop of real milk. Then he used the soda fountain on the “easy flow” to mostly fill the glass. A quick stir with a spoon. Then the high pressure single jet spray with the same nozzle.
Bang. A glass that had about a 1 1/2 inch pure crema type foam on it. It was like a damn milkshake when he was done. And he’d say they same thing every time, “Here, pay me.”
Rose was the best though. When I had to eat lunch there for whatever reason, my mother would set it up. The store was down the block from my elementary school. I’d go in and Rose would bring me to a booth. There I’d always get the same thing, which I loved. Tuna on toasted white bread and two egg creams. And the second one was always made fresh. In a new glass. That was the best thing. It made me feel so damn special as a kid.
Great stuff, Rich.
And the best syrup for an egg-cream is Fox’s U-Bet. Not very easy to find these days, but it still exists.
We recently bought some Nutella because the commercials always claims it is ‘part of a healthy breakfast’. I don’t care for hazelnuts, so was skeptical. Until I tried it, and realized it was chocolate frosting with a slight peanut-butter consistency. It is awesome stuff. Then I pulled out a tub of chocolate frosting, and compared labels. Covering your toast in chocolate frosting is healthier. Sigh.
Back on topic: Nothing beats a perfect chocolate chip cookie/Tollhouse cookie bar. Except maybe Magic Bars (typically, a christmas-time cookie with a graham cracker base, a layer of consensed milk, ton o’ chocolate chips, a layer of shredded coconut, and a layer of crushed walnuts). Also known as 7-layer bars when made with butterscotch chips as well.
U-bet can be bought in gallon jugs online.
If you are ever in New York City (Manhattan) go to Juniors and buy their Egg Cream glasses. They are measured for the amount of syrup and milk.
My daughter and I make the best Egg Creams but those glasses make it so anyone can do it!
http://www.juniorscheesecake.com/
Oh, and always use a straw to drink (very important - it does not taste right unless you have a straw)!
and only because these don’t exist any longer:
My favorites.
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Lindor’s Stracciatella White Chocolate. So good, so creamy, each one just melts in your mouth.
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Edwards Key Lime Pie. I know, pie from the freezer section? Especially Key Lime Pie but this is better than the key lime I’ve had in a lot of resteraunts and surprising for a frozen desert.
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Ben and Jerry’s Chubby Hubby Ice Cream. The perfect mix of ice cream, peanut butter and the salty crunch of pretzels. This has ruined me for other ice creams.
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Reese White Chocolate Peanut Butter Eggs. I prefer white chocolate to dark or milk chocolate. But this is even better than the cups because the higher ratio of peanut butter to chocolate.
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A really good Orange. I’ve never had a fashioned desert as good as a truly perfect orange. Unfortunately because they are natural consistency is always a problem (I’ve eaten a lot of medicore oranges), but when you do get that one that is jhust right, nothing is better.
Re Oranges – and other fruit. Yeah, an ideal sweet fruit is a wonderful thing; but so hard to find especially if you’re stuck with supermarkets and all you can get are these weird objects that just look like fruit. At least supermarket oranges are better oranges than supermarket berries or melons or apples or especially plums and peaches. Why does anyone even bother to grow and ship the kind of plums you get at a supermarket? Tastes either like water or like cardboard.
Word. Good plums are hard to get even in-season from farmers markets. But when you do, they’re great.
Best strawberries I ever had were in Montreal. Apparently the cold climate and short summers do something to the sugar levels. I’ve read that Siberian strawberries are the same way.
Also, agreed. Reese’s eggs > Reese’s cups.
Question:
What are the best chocolate covered pretzels?
I do not think the M&M pretzels are salty enough. But some of the others are too expensive.