Well, if you go back 150 years, “them” didn’t have rights.
Well, if you fast forward 15 years…
More the latter.
I’ve been very firm in my decision to not have kids, and very consistent in my utter lack of interest in the prospect, over my whole life. I’m incredibly lucky to have a longterm partner who’s absolutely onboard with those goals and beliefs. We get haraunged a lot–often by family, but sometimes my friends and even strangers–about that choice and what a mistake it is and how we just don’t really know real joy or happiness or fulfillment without the magic of children gracing our otherwise empty, mirthless existences, all conveyed with a sickening, cloying condescension that immediately raises my temper to maximum. As though there were no value at all to a life that didn’t produce a dozen more mouths to suck down the Earth’s limited pool of resources.
If ya love your kids, cool, but don’t pretend it’s the be-all, end-all path to any sort of fulfillment in life and especially don’t get all high and mighty at folks who choose a different path over it.
See, look, now you guys kept pulling me back in until I did the thing.
Well, I wasn’t going to bring up, but now that you’ve said it, I was just thinking the other day that ArmandoPenblade needs to start procreating, stat. For the good of mankind and all that, you know?
The best reason to have kids is so you can stop having to listen to annoying parents blathering on endlessly about how fulfilling it is. (It’s really not. It’s an endless shit-show of misery. Especially if you didn’t get one of your own gender. Who the fuck are these mystery creatures? They make no sense.)
Found this entertaining with the the talk about parental love:
Not saying they don’t love their son, just giving him some tough love right now.
Tough love is the right kind of love in many circumstance. Wow they even tried to help him move out and refused.
Three more notes were sent over the course of six weeks — with one even offering Michael $1,100 “so you can find a place to stay” and another suggesting options to either fix or get rid of his broken car.
If I may, the love I have for my children is different from the love I have for my parents and greater. And I really love my parents. I kind of assume that my parents feel the same about me and their grandkids.
Anyway, having children has made it very clear that my parents (and probably most parents in the world) are awesome, and single parents are super heroes!
I think there are a few studies that show that doing favors for people increases your affection for them. I think the rationale is that people rationale doing favors by assuming they like them. I guess since kids need everything done for them, us parents are convinced we must love them a lot.
If you’re interested in this sort of thing, this article is an interesting (and incredibly sad) read.
I have a child and yet I’ve never held Armando’s parents in my arms. Please, enlighten the rest of us- what did it feel like?
Armando I’m 50, in your boat as well. My GF actually cannot have kids. I think I made it. But that doesn’t mean I dont love being a 5 time uncle or actually like children. I do.
But I will share an anecdote. My sister married her husband at around 27 for her, 30 for him. He was adamant about no kids, she was cool with it. Then life happened. She closed in on 40 and wanted more meaning from life. He still rebelled. They fought, they went to counseling, etc. He gave her one shot, they had a miracle first attempt baby, a boy. And he absolutely became super dad. And that led to child number 2 and they are a happy family at this point with a boy and a girl.
What I’m saying is, life isn’t about absolutes. Never say never, and on the flip side of that, if your best anti-kid friend does a 180, it’s okay. Be happy for them. You never know, that may be you or your GF. Be willing to listen if that conversation ever happens.
And back to the conversation, I can absolutely see a parent sticking by their child. It’s the whole point. You see through to what you remember as an infant who need you to provide. It’s hard to spot the flaws when you’re in the middle of it. And as a parent, you may not even know the flaw was you.
Ha! Well said.
At least in my case this is very true. Not in the case of my parents but in the case of being a parent. Prior to having children I had my dogs and I love(d) them. I used to call them my children, ride around with them in the car and generally equate my love of them as to the parents’ love of a child. Then I had my own child and realized that this was a whole different genetic ballgame.
Perhaps the beginning of the end for the Tea Party.
You forgot to tell them to get off your lawn.
That was when the dogs began their plotting…
I just want to thank everyone for having a pretty damn reasonable discussion about parental feelings and the choices we make as adults to have or not have kids up in here.
I’ve been on I think all sides of the discussion at different points in my life, and I’m very happy to be part of a community that can present each side in such a way that is respectful to others’ opinions and life experiences. You are all fabulous, including anyone whose ass I may get up into in P&R from time to time ;)
For my part, it’s very much the thing where you just don’t really understand being a parent unless you have kids of your own. That doesn’t make you wrong or bad or make your choices immoral or bullshit, but it does mean that you can’t really grok the whole parenting thing outside of extraordinary circumstances.
I like to say that if you presented a truly detailed and objective pro/con of parenthood (at least the first 5 years) to anyone who is considering having kids, nobody would ever choose to do so. And yet, neither I nor anyone I know regrets doing so at all. Your perspective is just different when it’s your kid barfing on you or pooping all over your car or absolutely melting the fuck down in the middle of a wedding.
Sure, that’s all true. I assume the problem for the non-procreating types would be all the high-pitched, doe-eyed, tsking-and-sighing parents taking every opportunity to dramatically overstate the myriad joys and wonders of being parents. UGH! Might be worth having kids just so they’d stfu.
So local forums or town hall meetings are part of the Deep State now?
Because anyone attending would be a paid Soros plant. Duh.
(obligatory /s)