The Thank You Thread (you don't have to thank me)

Thank you beer drinking colleague, for leaving almost an entire case of imported beer in the refridgerator at work, where the refrigerated compartment is hardly big enough to hold the lunch of everyone on our floor, but now keeps each of your long neck brown bottles glistening and cool during the long hard work week, even as the rest of us do battle to find space for our leftover cheese cassaroles and stewy goodness hauled in from home.

If people are drinking imported beer at the office, I want to work where you work.

Thank you everybody, for all the love.

Tim, just take it out and put a mean note on it. It’s Microsoft, they won’t fire you.

Lazy people forgetting their crap in the company fridge is why I brought in my own mini one, though.

That’s passive-aggressive, I prefer just plain aggressive.

Buy a bottle of mayonnaise (I suggest squeezable plastic) and smear a little glob of mayo on each individual bottle cap so it dries to a crusty white. Don’t put the mayo bottle in the fridge. Don’t mention this to anybody. Let the cards fall where they will.

I have actually done this, in slightly different circumstances, and it worked extremely well.

Those are stupid ideas. Drink the damn beer, duh, then leave a note thanking it for the free beer.

Thank you person in the cube beside me for being a douche boomer who doesn’t have headphones but likes to watch youtube at work.

Thank you, jerri, for making me feel like a party pooper, coming on here and complaining about the people at work, even though this case of left over long necks makes it abundantly clear that each of these beer drinking colleagues (here I am use the term “beer drinking colleagues” quite loosely) has utterly failed Beer Party 101, wherein everyone knows you should only have at most one or two beers left over --if any-- and wherein said beer drinking colleagues don’t even know enough to feel a smidgen of shame at having almost an entire case of beers left over after said beer party has ended.

Thank you agressive mayonnaize spreader and righter of wrongs. No, really. Just thank you. That’s a brilliant idea!

I shouldn’t tell you this because you’ll think I’m odd. But this happened a few months ago and apropos of nothing I thought of it this morning and decided to turn my anger into useful holiday snark. :)

Dear Tim,



heh, do you think I’m odd Aeon? Is that what you’re telling me.

heh, do you think I’m odd Aeon? Is that what you’re telling me.

heh, do you think I’m odd Aeon? Is that what you’re telling me.

I got a triple post! And one even caromed off BeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeellD. Happy holidays, Bill!

PS: Do you think I’m odd Bill? Is that what you’re telling me.

Jimmy Fallon stealing my shtick. But can Fallon get a triple post, one of which caroms off Bill D? I didn’t think so.

Tim, I think it might be the fact that you are into tea, totally, making you a teetotaler, that caused this mass quantity of beerage to somehow seep its way into your thoughts. Or maybe I dismember this incorrectly.

Remember people, sometimes you drink the beer, sometimes the beer drinks you! That’s what they say, right?

I’d also like to take this rare opportunity to thank all the participants in the I’m Drunk thread because, I’m not, anymore.

Tim, you’re adorable.

That was my first thought, someone brought beer for everyone in the office to enjoy. Drink them and leave a thank you card.