These kids are really good at hide and seek:

Wait wait wait. Within 90 minutes all these forces were mobilized and had scoured the area? I take it the kids had been “missing” for the requisite number of hours or whatever? Or does that not apply with children?

Well, either they are really good at this game or the whole state of West Virginia sucks at it.


“My hiding is better than their vision.”

The rolled all 20’s.

“Missing” 5 year olds get a much quicker response time than adults. Amber alerts and the like.

Hiding under the bed AND wrapping yourself in a blanket is a pretty neat wrinkle. I never thought to do that. I wonder why they didn’t come out when they heard the police officer searching the house?

Yeah, like they’d fall for that old trick.


Yeah, these Amber Alerts are designed to go into effect immediately. Sort of creepy the way that they go up on TV now, interrupt broadcasts. Almost expect them to be followed up with the station switching to the Emergency Broadcasting System.

Are you implying that a single child isn’t worth disrupting the lives of every person in a 500 mile radius? For shame.

Though it did save that 2-year-old in Toronto.

A much different set of circumstances. The father of the child had just murdered the mother and took off with the child in a taxi. The cab driver reported being shot at by the individual. There was a very real danger for the child.

Actually, that’s happened around here. (Though its now known as the Emergency Alert System) Last fall, a man in IL had apparently kidnapped his kids and was said to have taken them up to WI. So the EAS would broadcast an alert notifying people of the missing kids’ identities, what they looked like, as well as the identity of the father and whatever vehicle he was last seen driving.

Not that the AMBER alert ever helped Alexis Patterson.

Black people don’t know enough politicians to get it set off. They can fix this by getting richer, of course.

Yes, because only black people are poor.

And us whities don’t care about issuing Amber alerts on darkies, brownies, or conspicuously-tannies.

It’s past the point of parody now. How come all these amber alerts and cross-state manhunts happen for kidnapped young white girls so consistently? Are they the only children getting kidnapped?

The only ones the authorities are noticing. The rest don’t get noticed until they turn up months later pregnant and the authorities have to intervene to prevent the abortion.

Or maybe I’m just feeling deeply cynical today.


The Smart case is the one biggie you’re hanging your pathetic little “OMG we’re all racists” whine on, and the reason that the media focused on that wasn’t that she was white or that her family was rich, it was that the media smelled JonBenet blood in the waters and went for the “story”, such as it was. Did you hear about Jetsetta Gage? Thought not, unfortunately, kidnappings are more frequent enough to be local news only unless there’s something unique about the case. Like say… the kidnappee’s sister witnessed the kidnapping.

That still doesn’t explain why every single child kidnapping media freakout going back to…what, 1980? is always some young cute white girl.

Perhaps kidnappers prefer young, cute, white girls.