Why would the Middle East use their hand when toilet paper or even wash rags are a thing?
Aren’t you a man? Everyone knows men use knives. For everything.
Easy, no toilet paper needed. Just need a manservant.
Well that was fucking gross.
I wished I was man enough to do this!
Cloth maps from the old Ultima games.
My shower and my toilet are only like a foot apart.
I’ll be fine, if unhappy, if worst comes to worst.
My tiny bathroom finally comes through.
STRANDED!!! without a roll.
What do you do when your stranded
and you know your a man?
You wipe with your hand
This is exactly what I thought of when I saw someone recommend making homemade bathroom wipes with paper towels.
Let me fix that for you.
(Sung to the tune of Branded! TV series circa 1965)
Stranded! Stranded on the toilet bowl
What do you do when you’re stranded
and you aint got a roll?
To prove you’re a man you must wipe with your hand!
Stranded!
Yup, that’s the tune. What I wrote was what a fellow 7th grader sang in the PE locker room in '65. I assumed he made it up, but must of got it off the internet. ;)
My only knowledge of that song comes from the Dude singing it in the back of a police cruise whilst in an inebriated state.
Back on topic:
Extra virgin birch - hilarious.
Wiping my anus with a silky soft lamb’s ear sounds delightful. Even better, can you imagine using a baby rabbit? Or a little chicken chick, still downy and stumbling around awkwardly? I can’t imagine anything more luxurious touching my asshole.
I’m hoardin’ toilet roll, for my hole, such a dirty ass
And now my teacher said, hey there Fred, you stay home from class
My, my, my, my, my, WOO!
M-M-M-My corona! M-M-M-My corona!
Oh. My. Fucking. God.
You woke the kids you fucker. This drew a big hearty belly laugh from me, that picture popped into my visual cortex in such detail…
I remember a teacher saying American farmers used to use corncobs.
And hearing somewhere that flat sticks were the common solution in England at some time — thus the expression “Fuck me with the sticky end of a shitty stick, these are good biscuits.”