Of course not. That’s what the RSVP cards are for!
Eh, being invited to a wedding that’s going to contain a lot of co-workers isn’t much of an endorsement of friendship, so accepting the invite likewise doesn’t send that strong of a message.
I say go. You’ll barely talk to the guy.
If you don’t want to go, don’t go. Fuck peer pressure. If you’re really worried about office reputation, take the friday before off work and say you’ll be out of town.
I’d be tempted to say go ahead and go but I have been to at least one ill-advised wedding and it felt really awkward. If you feel your workplace rep will suffer buy a gift, eat the dinner then split. Believe me, nobody is going to remember how long you were there.
Sleep with his fiancé.
— Alan
Another vote for Go. You’ll probably talk to him twice tops, you get to enjoy free good food, and don’t worry about blowing too much on a gift. If you weren’t already married/involved, then I’d say it’s a definite Go.
As for the bachelor party, no way. Even if you weren’t married. Too many chances for him to talk to you, and you know he’ll be drunk. I can’t it see it being anything but terrible.
I think a wedding is the bride’s day. So I’d do whatever causes her the least grief. If it’s a big wedding where she wouldn’t even notice if you’re there or not, you don’t have to go. But if I thought it’d spoil things, even a little, for her for me not to go I would. Maybe she might have to hear from him a disappointed “DrDel blew off my wedding? What did I ever do to him?”, something like that.
edit: Also what are the chances other people from work might use that to tease him? IE “haha, DrDel knew your wedding would suck, that’s why he was ‘sick’ that day.” The potential for bad karma must be weighed.
Convince the bride he’s a cheater. That way, no wedding!
Smiles all around.
Yeah, see if you can get that TV show Cheaters to set him up.
Invite these guys:
Then enjoy the hilarity of the shenanigans.
It’s not free if you have to buy a wedding present.
How much disposable incoming do you have sitting around? How far away is the wedding and how much do you value your Saturdays? Because weddings wreck a Saturday.
Remember your meal is costing the wedding party $75-100 for each of you, so you if you don’t give at least $150 gift, you’re kinda screwing them.
I hate weddings because money doesn’t grow on trees, and I never have enough time to game as much as I want. (Unless you’re a close friend, of course.)
We just got invited to a baby shower for someone we barely know. I think people sometimes just fill out their guest lists on these things to maximize the amount of gifts they’ll receive.
I hate weddings because money doesn’t grow on trees, and I never have enough time to game as much as I want. (Unless you’re a close friend, of course.)
I saw Jerry Seinfeld live one time and part of his act was explaining about weddings and guests and the bottom line is, “nobody wants to go”. It’s so true.
Yeah, I’m not getting all the “go, have a good time, eat good food” responses. I’ve never been to a wedding I enjoyed. I always spend the absolute minimum time there I could get away with. And I resent wedding invitations from people I barely know, because they’re just fishing for gifts.
I have personally solved this problem by not being invited to a whole lot of weddings and deliberately avoiding scenarios where I suspect that I might at some point be invited to one, but I am the weird guy. I don’t necessarily recommend my method.
Now, from the weddings that I’ve been to, I personally don’t grasp the notion that there would be good food. None - literally none of them - have been better than the catering at the office Christmas lunch. I mean, it’s edible and it’s better than what I could forage up myself on short notice, but I’d still rather be getting my steak at Morton’s. Also, the music at the reception is frequently too loud. I have, however, been accused of hating fun before.
If the party is going to be good and you enjoy the company of the other workplace friends, I’d say go and let the weasel buy you a nice dinner and some drinks. He’s going to be the most popular guy there that night, so it’s not like you’ll be spending much time at all in his presence.
If the other workplace folks who are invited are people you like to hang out with occasionally, AND they have already said they will go, then see if they all want to go in together on a gift and go have a good time with them. As others have mentioned, you’ll barely interact at all with the groom (and bride), they’ll be way too busy. It’ll be you and work pals kicking it back and enjoying some good food and hopefully an open bar. Going in on a group gift not only reduces the cost, but also prevents you from having to have an individual stake in affirming your personal relationship with the guy. If you’re just one of a group signing a card and presenting a nice gift, it doesn’t send the message that “hey, we’re pals!”.
On the other hand, if nobody you enjoy hanging out with from work is going to attend, then I suggest your in-laws are coming to visit that weekend or some such, and regretfully you will be unable to attend.
Where is the wedding? My services for this job are $3000 plus expenses.
Hey, maybe my new career is gigolo!
You’re not just a weird guy. I’m putting it together you’re one of the weirdest guys I’ve ever seen.
On your resume you can note: “Have own hot tub. Willing to travel.”