Oh look, it's the guy who gave Journey 2 out 5 stars. Nice trolling, Chick! Baiting for hits again, I see. And just over 300 words? This is closer to a tweet than a review.
Move along people, nothing about this review to take seriously.
Yeah, if Tom were writing for Consumer Reports, those things would be very important to help guide your purchase decision.
But no, Tom is a games critic, and one of the only ones that actually has the balls to have an opinion and stand by it.
If you want a feature list, why don't you just go to the Lollipop Chainsaw Web site?
Graphics are ugly. As I mentioned in the review, it's the Unreal engine, as plastic and personality free as ever.
What do you mean "how about the sound"? It's, uh, audible. Some cute licensed music and a bunch of indie zombie punk stuff. The voice actors would probably be good if the dialogue weren't so frequently unfunny. The lead character is voiced by the woman who does Harley Quinn in the Batman games, but you'd never know by the stereotypical blonde cheerleader schtick. The boyfriend is pretty good. The bosses are all awful.Controls are fine, but this isn't a very finicky fighting game. You can get through it on normal using a handful of moves. Until you get to the retro levels, at which point you're playing an entirely different game.
And, for the record, I don't think those things necessarily need to be talked about. Sometimes a short concise review is better than the usual checklist of graphics, sound, and controls. You can get that from various other review sites, where they'll sometimes even helpfully label the sections for you!
The only thing I learned from this review was to never listen to Quarter to Three
Tom, if you're in the mood to answer questions, is it too bad to enjoy even in an ironic, "this is so terrible you have to see this" sort of way?
The usual classic attention whore of metacritic which scores all time low in order to attract people.
LOL. OK I will.
I would still wave you off this one, Marty. The fighting is just so tedious and repetitive. And the attempt at B-movie schlock factor is just kind of depressing given that James Gunn did the writing.
Always amuses me to see what makes people angry. Max Payne 3 low score? no problem. Lollipop Chainsaw? HOLLLLLY BALLLLLLLLLLSSS
Has to be because Suda51 has a pretty big fan base. Also, sigh, how can you dislike No More Heroes. We have much to talk about.
Well, well.
No comments on gameplay, replayability, campaign length, game modes, graphics, sound, controls, content... well, you know, the shit that actually MAKES up a game. Just a four paragraph rant full of "I don't like the premise" whining and descriptions of game elements in 4 words at best.
Silly you. Don't they teach to argument the points you make in writing 101 anymore? Actually, don't they teach to use full sentences to ellaborate on a statement? This looks like what a 5th grader could produce if asked to review a game, only with more pedantic words. And the added arrogance of claiming to be able to judge a game you haven't played just through your "intelligence".
Intelligent people, sir, know full well not to talk about something they have no first hand experience of, or an incomplete one. That's only something ignorants and fools do. Well, that and boasting of their "intelligence" while showing in their manner of expression how sadly they lack it.I am fatally unimpressed.
Nofrikkenway!
You read a review... And all you got out of it was a lousy opinion?
You sir, have been robbed.
Why should a 1 out of 5 be reserved for a game that has bad graphics and sound, or playability issues? Reviews for other media aren’t done this way. I’ve never seen a movie review that says, “This movie was pandering, the characters were weak, and the plot was tedious and cliché. However, the color was very good and the sound was loud, so I’m giving it 6/10.”
This review was worth it just to see the fuckwits ooze out of the woodwork, all "OMG YUO FAGIT U SUX AS A REVIEWR FAGIT WORTHLESS QUARTEWR TO GAY THIS GAME SHOW BEAVER AND BLOOD IT ROX U FAG" and stuff.
I mean, really. Quit pandering to the masses, Mr. Chick ;)
Kinda depends on whether it's one or two, doesn't it? The first one was pretty wobbly. The second one was awesome, for being what the first one should've been all along.
But really, how CAN he dislike it?
As I noted above, a score of 1/5 shouldn’t be reserved for games that are “technically broken.” That would be like saying about a movie review, “Did the projector break when you saw the movie? Was any dialogue missing? No? Then you should give the movie at least a 3/5.”
It’s time to move past the idea of reviewing things based on objective evaluations like, “This game is not completely broken.” A terrible movie can be technically flawless, just like a terrible game can be technically playable. I wouldn’t say a painting is good just because the painter figured out how to apply paint to a square canvas.
Which means you know absolutely 0 about Suda 51 games since they aren't meant to be taken seriously that actually are making fun of the things developers push out with a serious attitude.... But then again I only came to this site when I noticed on Metacritic that this site scores every game low to try and get hits....But then again your probably one of those COD players that thinks your so much smarter than everyone else and your getting your realistic wartime simulator thats so realistic.....I see most of the people that frequent this site are just as retarded as the site itself....Hipster sites are pathetic
If these good people do not do it, who is going to fight the power in their stead?
Quibbling about the number of arbitrary stars it should get aside, was anyone expecting anything else from this game? It's looked like mediocre schlock at best from the first reveal.
You obviously did not understood the game, since you were clumsy enough to take it as something serious when no game from Grasshopper is (appart from Killer 7 in some way).
Either that or you are just trolling for metacritic's attention. In both cases what a failure of a "reviewer"
That's the thing though Tom reviews games similar to how movie critics review films. A film may be technically competent and get one or two star reviews and no one bats an eyelid so why shouldn't that be the same here?
People need to get over the IGN et al methods of review where just because something is playable it gets a 5 or 6 out of ten. Games journalism will never be respected if a journalist can not review something on their terms and not the terms of other sites/magazines. This is why 8 out 10 is seen as a disappointing score because idiots like those on larger websites give 9/10 and 10/10 scores out like candy.
Tom is a unique critic and while he can be harsh I appreciate that because when he does give out the 4s or 5s I take notice and actually try those games. I respect your opinion but I will take Tom's side over the Destructoids, IGNs or whatever shoddy morally compromised sites any day.