Why don't police use whips?

Serious question. I was fooling around with a bullwhip the other day and, dudes, it was so sweet. It’s scary as hell for everybody involved and it moves just like a snake. But I figured it would be way more effective in the right circumstances than pepper spray or batons or whatever. Is the distaste for whips purely cultural?

You are one of the stupidest humans alive.

Eat shit.

Come on Theo, think about it. Sure a whip is scary, but it’s a hell of lot less precise than pepper spray, less useful than a baton, and takes a hell of lot more training to use correctly than either.

I think a whip is far more likely to do permanent damage than the other non-lethal methods currently employed. Haven’t you seen those old Civil War-era photos of slaves with backs like washboards from all the scarring?

Absolutely no reason at all. Oh, except perhaps for:

  • the possibility of leaving permanent scars or serious injuries
  • it becomes useless in close quarters
  • it’s only effective against one target at a time
  • your target isn’t just going to stand there waiting to be whipped
  • it’s difficult to coordinate among multiple officers (a wall of whips?)
  • it’s a symbol of slavery

(Edit: Bah, beaten.)

There’s a thought right there.

They could be electric whips. Maybe they could retract, sorta, like Omega Red’s whip thingies.

I’m going to write a letter to the police department.

Man, this is going to be awesome.

Eat shit.

Think about it lol.

The fact that three of you actually responded to this asshole’s question is why I didn’t refer to the aforementioned asshole as the stupidest human alive.

But it’s close.

jafd, I love you. And your first post was quite funny.

jafd: Wow, you really, really fucking hate me. Have we had some huge argument or something before? I don’t remember you, sorry.

It wouldn’t matter if you did, since you don’t count. Blow.

This thread is awesome.

Is there a name for this argument?

I don’t remember.

Wow. You sure got me. lol.

Good enough for who it’s for!

Screw you, man. Yes, it’s a stupid fucking question, but I can keep my opinion to myself and still respond in a civil manner.