Worst 80s movie you'll see all week: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles


Man, I loved that Turtle Power song as a 13 year old. The movie itself was a decent comedy, I was amused by it at the time.

I tried watching the Michael Bay version. There was a Humble Bundle for a bunch of Riff Trax, which I bought in at the $1 tier. I figured, hey, they’ve got a Riff Track for TMNT, and if they can make a Michael Bay movie fun (keep in mind I hadn’t seen Transformers: Age of Extinction yet, so I didn’t know that Michael Bay could do that himself) then they could make any movie fun. Sadly, they could not make TMNT fun. So I never got any more Riff Trax because of that.

I remember the sequel to the late 80s movie being pretty bad. First of all, Vanilla Ice’s Go Ninja Go was no Turtle Power.


I liked the first and third movies of this trilogy. The Michael Bay ones were worse.


I didn’t enjoy 80% of Bay’s version, but I did actually enjoy the Shredder fights, especially the blades and flying knives. Those sequences were actually cool for me.


There was a third movie?

Oh yeah, I vaguely remember that now. I think that came out when I was in college. And they were using Baltimora’s Tarzan Boy in the trailers? None of us were rich enough to go to the regular theater though, and it never came to the dollar theater.

I was always tempted just because I love Baltimora’s Tarzan boy. One of my favorite 80s tunes.

Oh god, I’d never seen that video before. That’s hilariously bad. It doesn’t lower the quality of the song itself though. Still such a great song.



I can appreciate the argument that they all LOOK the same, but they are different.

-Former fan of cartoon and action figures.


There’s a montage in the 1990 movie when Judith Hoag literally makes sketches of the turtles to help the audience keep track of why they’re supposedly different. It doesn’t help. This is actually one of the areas where the CG in the 2014 movie had a huge advantage by giving the artists more freedom to distinguish the turtles. Henson’s suits were pretty much interchangeable, and the script certainly didn’t pick up much slack.



By the way, TMNT III: Turtles in Time is this week’s Flop House podcast movie.


So wait, there’s the 80s movie, the Michael Bay movie, and then there’s another movie, TMNT, that’s an animated movie? I didn’t know there had been another attempt at bat.


I went into this expecting a 3/10 shitfest nostalgia play.

What I got was a 6/10 yawnfest nostalgia play that, by bent of being literally 2x better than I was betting on wound up being almost enjoyable.


Didn’t John Woo do a TMNT movie, or maybe he was just attached to one of the movies at one time? I would have paid to see that.


Presumably it would have had turtledoves.


And a partridge in a pear treeeeeeeee!!


Ouch, my childhood. I won’t try to reconcile a difference of opinion, suffice it to say that watching it for the first time at 8-years old gives me a different perspective.

TMNT was the reason my favorite color was green. In a divided state, that automatically had me favoring MSU over UoM. That lead to visiting MSU at an impressionable age, which lead to me seeing a 400 gallon aquarium full of Tanganyikan cichlids. Ultimately, that became the reason for my choice of internet handle of the last 20+ years, not to mention my avatar, drawn by my sister, featuring a Neolamprologus brichardi, my favorite fish. All thanks to the Ninja Turtles (whose distinguishing personalities/abilities are far from subtle, how dare you!). :P


Are the patreons trying to punish Tom by making him watch TMNT, or trying to broaden his horizon? I can’t tell which.


Alright guys, now give Tom the full TMNT treatment: make him review TMNT 1 on NES.

That’ll teach him to appreciate the turtles’ weapon differences too!


He voluntarily reviewed it because he missed my vote for it one month. I told him he didn’t have to, though. Now, I’m not sure if I’m glad he did or not, heh. I legitimately adore the movie. Probably explains why Jackie Chan movies work for me too… FWIW, I think it’s more nuanced than it’s being given credit for here, but maybe that’s just my inner 8-year old fandom speaking.


If there’s one thing 8-year-olds are known for, it’s nuance :)


LOL. “Nuance” is code for defending matters of taste. ;)


I’m kind of surprised people are sticking up for the original. My memory is that at the time it was considered the weakest of the TMNT-related media (apart from that horrible NES game), even for 8-year olds. I wasn’t a huge TMNT fan, but I was certainly into the cartoon and especially the arcade game, and I can remember having a meh reaction to the first film (to be fair, at 11, I was probably a bit too old for it by then). And then I read the Eastman comic, which really opened my eyes.


yeaaahhhh man!