Oh man that one was pretty bogus. They mawkishly make out and then a hilariously overdone ZZZIP and Pesci jams Stone’s face to his crotch. HAWT.
Pistols at dawn, sir!
For best sex scene, I’d like to nominate the stairwell scene in Unfaithful.
It makes a lot more sense if you think she’s trying to pass the biggest poo of her life.
Any sex scene involving Adam Sandler qualifies pretty much automatically. I really don’t need to see that.
Oh, hell no. That is FUCKING NOTHING.
See Before the Devil Knows You’re Dead. Extended sequence(s) of Philip Seymour Hoffman humping Marisa Tomei. If there’s a more effective boner-killer than seeing PSH in flagrante delicto, I don’t know what it is.
It’s really a shame, because you get to see a lot of Marisa topless and she looks AMAZING. Other than that, the movie is just “meh”.
How about the staircase sex scene between Maria Bello and Viggo Mortensen in A History of Violence (AHOV)? The violence between Bello & Mortensen immediately preceding the sex is supposed to be disturbing, but I don’t think David Cronenberg intended the sex to be creepy. However, myself and most of my friends thought the scene was fucked up and out of place. I think the scene revealed more about Cronenberg’s personal view of the connection between sex & violence than it served to advance plot or character development.
I agree with Desslock that movie sex is almost always artificial. It’s interesting that the earlier sex scene in AHOV between Bello & Mortensen, where Bello wears her high school cheerleading outfit, probably is the most realistic film depiction of sex for partners in a long-term relationship.
Same movie gets my vote for most realistic & worst sex scenes. I’m a model of efficiency.
I wanted to nominate that myself but couldn’t find it on Youtube.
I submit that this is not a coincidence. Although I actually think they’re both excellent scenes.
I’m convinced that the sex scene in History of Violence was intended to be creepy. I mean, we’re talking about Cronenberg here.
The earlier sex scene is a strong indication that the later one is intentionally off-putting, I’d say.
If this scene was intended to be creepy, shouldn’t a hint of this creepiness linger in the relationship between the two leads? I wasn’t unsettled by any other interaction between Bello & Mortensen for the remainder of the film. If I remember correctly, the sequence was 1) creepy sex, 2) Bello decides to stand by her man, 3) Mortensen commences with the taking out of the bad guys, 4) film ends.
There may be some lingering ambiguity regarding trust between Bello & Mortensen at the end of the film, but trust issues are a different can of worms from being repulsed and then attracted to a partner you just discovered was capable of extreme violence.
Plus, Cronenberg has never been subtle about his exploration of S&M themes in his sex scenes. The early scene between Bello & Mortensen needs to be viewed not only in contrast to the other scene in the movie, but also as highly uncharacteristic of Cronenberg’s entire body of work. I didn’t read the graphic novel of AHOV, but I wouldn’t be surprised if the cheerleader scene was from the novel, and the staircase scene was Cronenberg’s idea. It seems unlikely that Cronenberg would come up with a realistic sex scene on his own; he just adapted it.
In addition, I’m pretty sure I remember an NPR interview with both Bello & Cronenberg around the release of the movie, and Cronenberg seemed perplexed by the controversy around the staircase scene. If I remember correctly, he didn’t intend for it to be seen as unsettling or creepy, and couldn’t figure out why others saw it that way. He indicated the staircase scene was to show how easily the strong emotions generated by violence can lead to other strong emotions, like passion. I don’t think he intended for the viewer to see a contrast of “nice” versus “creepy” for the two sex scenes.
I am working from memory here, so I may be entirely off. My opinion should be suspect, because Munich is still one of my favorite movies ever, even with the silly sex scene. I couldn’t make it through Spanglish.
I don’t see the second one as creepy, personally. I think Cronenberg’s stated intentions come across just fine in it, although it is odd that he wouldn’t see how some people would find that shift in the characters’ relationship to be unsettling. I would have thought that would have been part of his thought process on that scene. Regardless, I think you need the earlier one to show what the couple was like before his past caught up with him. It shows the violence inherent in his character infecting all aspects of his “good” life.
And I completely disagree that it has no repercussions. It’s absolutely part of the tension of that final shot.
I would like to nominate Halle Berry and Billy Bob Thornton in Monsters Ball. It goes along the same lines as the Philip Seymour Hoffman and Sean Connery scenes, in that I never want to see Billy Bob Thornton shirtless. Even if Halle Berry is involved.
I agree with the general sentiment, though, sex scenes are rarely meaningful in movies. I think I would rather just know the couple had sex and fill in the blanks myself, rather than actually watch it. I will give a History of Violence credit, in that the sex scenes added to the point of the movie.
That might actually beat Munich for me. It was SO FUCKING UNCOMFORTABLE to watch, and not just because it is meant to be. Halle Barry was laughable, and the words “make me feel good” are now a way to instantly make me give up for a second or two. I’ll just try to convince myself to die, for a second.
No one’s mentioned the then Mr. and Mrs. Cruise in Eyes Wide Shut yet??
They don’t really have a sex scene in the movie, though. He just paws her in front of a mirror for a bit.
What I took from the stairwell sex scene was also the contrast with the earlier workaday “put some spice back in your marriage!” scene, but as Cronenberg’s idea of how you REALLY heat up your marriage: find out your spouse isn’t really who you thought he was for the past 15 years, instead he’s a mysterious, dangerous stranger.
Good lord. I recorded that clip nearly a decade ago ago on my ATI Rage 128. I can’t believe it’s still making the rounds.
I submit Y Tu Mama, Tambien as a counterexample. I can’t think of many movies that have handled sex and nudity better.
That is because Y Tu Mama, Tambien is just one amazing film.