Worst song remakes

Books, comics, TV, music
1

After hearing the new, vomit-worthy 2010 version of “We Are the World”, I started thinking of some of the other terrible and/or pointless remakes of songs I’ve heard. Not all remakes end up being bad and some turn out to be better than the original, but the majority I’ve heard aren’t good.

– Seether’s remake of Wham’s “Careless Whisper” - This is one in the “why?” category. They don’t really change anything, besides using a guitar instead of a sax and infusing it with today’s generic alt-rock blandness. The lyrics don’t hold up at all and the lead’s already annoying voice just sounds idiotic singing them.

– Limp Bizkit’s remake of The Who’s “Behind Blue Eyes” - I’m not even sure anything needs to be said about this one. It’s not particularly horrible, but it’s completely redundant. It’s amusing to me that he says “conscious” instead of “conscience”, though.

– 311’s remake of The Cure’s “Love Song” - I’m a bit biased on this one simply because I hate 311. Here they take a good song and infuse it with their goofy alt-rock-reggae garbage sound. Blech.

2

Metallica’s Orion remade by Mastodon

As much as I love all of Mastodon’s original music, this cover just lays there, dead.

3

Norah Jones

Hank Williams’s “Cold Cold Heart”

It’s like smuggling a Rembrandt around in your rectum.

4

Wow, I’m glad I’ve not heard any of these except for the god damned fucking awful new version of We Are the World with the Ghost of Michael Jackson. Almost ripped out my ears, I did.

5

Lindsay Lohan remakes Stevie Nicks’ Edge of Seventeen

Seriously, breaks my fucking heart right there.

6

I refuse to watch that, but what kind of fucktard thinks that’s a good idea?

7

Proponents of auto-tune apparently.

8

I would watch it, as it’s deceptively terrible. You almost think she can pull it off with the help of immense amounts of audio tuning but then… nooooope.

9

madonna - american pie

10

Every cover that UB40 ever made. “Hey let’s take a bunch of famous songs by other, much more talented people, and put all of them to an absolutely identical reggae beat and sing them in a robotic, emotionless way!!”

I second the above nominations of Madonna’s American Pie and Limp Bizkit’s Behind Blue Eyes. Fucking Limp Bizkit.

11

All of these choices sound inspired compared to this travesty: Jedward (X-Factor contestants proving that reality TV hates us all) doing a hybrid remake of Queen’s “Under Pressure” with “Ice Ice Baby”.

When Vanilla Ice showing up is the high point of your song, it’s time to admit you’ve created an atrocity. Prepare to hate your ears.

12

Wait-- there’s a good version of “We Are the World”?

13

Yeah, I don’t see how it’s possible to make a good cover of “We are the World”, it’s terrible from the start.

I submit Scarlett Johansson murdering Tom Waits’ fantastic Who Are You (the original)

14

They remade “We Are The World?” WTF?

I’m agreed with RobotPants on the “Behind Blue Eyes.” It’s horrendous, and missing all the verses!

Be that as it may, it still doesn’t hold a candle (and I know I’ve said this in another thread just like this) to Celine Dion’s “You Shook Me All Night Long.”

Honorable mention to Patti Labelle and Tony Bennet’s duet of “Can You Feel The Love Tonight” during the Indiana Jones-themed halftime show of Super Bowl XXIX. Scratch that: Best. Halftime show. Ever..

15

Tori Amos covers Slayer’s Raining Blood

16

bullshit. Tori’s covers kick ass.

17

That’s one way of looking at it.

18

If you heard the new version, you’d think the original was fantastic. It’s got all the essentials for a modern, uplifting anthem: R&B beat, has-been stars and mediocre newcomers, an overly-long and extremely awkward rap portion, three (3) different auto-tuned sections, spliced-in footage of the deceased Michael Jackson, Jamie Foxx impersonating Ray Charles. Instant classic? I think so!

19

Holy crap. I feel permanently scarred now.

20

Celine Dion also covered Roy Orbison’s I Drove All Night, which was covered again (and much better, IMO) by Cyndi Lauper. Orbison’s version.