I think we’ve maybe buried the lede here. Did that second render just confirm land ownership, personal housing AND ground vehicles?
I hear there will be fully implemented farming with real time crop growth and realistic soil depletion.
Wow, those voices in your head are sure informed!
Do you not read the reddit?
Our subreddit is only on the Derp Web and can be hard for the uninitiated to find.
I won’t go to the Derp Web. Far too dangerous. I haven’t been able to find it anyway, but I read the article about it in Time Magazine, and it scared me.
Can’t wait for release. I’m sure this will become an instant classic, so much that it defines its own genre and becomes an adjective. You’ve got roguelike and soulslike, soon we’ll have derplike. And then the pale imitators, the derplites.
You know what’s cooler than becoming an adjective?
Becoming a preposition.
Yup, right there.
When I wrote that I stared at the word ‘adjective’ for a while and was pretty sure that was not quite right…
Well, roguelike could function as either a noun or an adjective, I suppose.
But imagine a game that became a preposition!
“I’m gonna get derpspace my car.”
“I’m going derpspace the grocery store.”
The possibilities are endless.
“I’m gonna derpspace my man for his birthday.”
You know you all were thinking it.
Can I be your man? I have always dreamed of getting properly derpspaced…
Wouldn’t this be a verb…?
Derpspace is a noun, verb, adjective, adverb, preposition ALL AT THE SAME TIME!!1
(all caps for emphasis)
Here is a paragraph from the Derpspace strategy guide:
You will learn to translate it into English by playing the game.
Oooh Shelley Duvall, is she one of the many many many celebrity cameos in game?
The problem is there is no computer yet made that can run that animation at an acceptable frame rate. But like id, we design for tomorrow’s computers, not today’s.
Fellow backers, boy have I got exciting news for you. DERPSPACE is more or less 100% Benford Law compliant. For those who are unaware, Benfords Law states that liars make up bad strings of numbers when trying to pull a fast one, and through the power of modern computing we can spot their subterfuge by simply entering data into a text box and pressing TEST, which is what I’ve done for this project.
Normally I’d be hesitant to name my sources, but in this case I can’t very well convince you of DERPSPACEs legitimacy without at least sharing the raw data.
Because backer numbers and revenue for the DERPSPACE project are still being kept deep under wraps for the security of the project and its leaders, I had to collect and test tangentially RELATED DATA. In this case, the data came from lead developer Gordon_Cameron’s forum profile. In particular, I went to his profile page, grabbed all the numbers available, and tested them… AND I THINK THE RESULTS SPEAK FOR THEMSELVES. DERPSPACE is a real project being developed by a REAL PERSON. The Gordon_Cameron profile is no ruse, no long-term ploy to fleece its supporters. There’s no fudging of those numbers, because Benford backs him up. These are real numbers, natural numbers, some might even say rational numbers, but all I care is that they’re legal numbers. Benford Legal.
I’ll let the results do the rest of the talking, but all I can say from here is that from here on out I know where my money will be best spent.
