2010

classic

2011

The Fallout 76 faithful are falling into the Star Citizen hermetically sealed logic bubble, where everything is fine, and anyone who says otherwise is just a hater who is not to be taken seriously.

2012
2013

This is just amazingly bad. I mean, I was one of the few who actually enjoyed, and got my money’s worth, from the game when it launched, though I haven’t played in months. But since their initial attempts to actually fix some things, it’s all been down hill into a swamp of ineptitude and mendacity.

2014

They deserve this.

2015

You gotta say…the unlimited storage box that actually eats your loot…I mean wow… I’m not sure you could intentionally design something to be more infuriating to your customers. Well…I guess the game could format your drive, stay tuned?

2016

I’m expecting pro-Beijing propaganda posters to pop up any day now.

2017

Maybe they mixed up a bag of holding with a bag of devouring?

2018

Maybe there’s an Obsidian mole that keeps sabotaging builds right before they get uploaded…

2019

Players who fork out an extra $100 a year will get access to special outfits, infinite item storage, and private servers stocked with their own gear. Unfortunately for the upper crust of this fictional hellscape, Fallout’s non-premium masses say it’s time to eat the rich.

Fallout 1st players are easily identifiable by their icons, their covetable gear, and special moves only available to top-paying members. Even doing one of those special dances is license for a beatdown now, said one player who claimed to have been “beaten up when I decided to do the Mothman emote [a premium-only dance move] in Vault 51. At least 5 -7 people in teddy bear costumes kept punching me.”

Another, luckier player, claimed he avoided a brawl, but was told to leave the non-premium area of the game when he did a premium-only robot dance.

2020

“We don’t have a great war in our generation, or a great depression, but we do, we have a great war on Reddit. We have a great revolution against the FO76 Whales. The great depression is our sad little lives. We have a spiritual depression.”

2021

Sounds like it’s not free yet, eh?

2022

When is it coming to Steam?

2023

Supposedly still this year, though there hasn’t been an update on the release date in a few months.

2024

It will be a paid upgrade in the Atom Shop to the Steam Day One Edition.

2025

Retaliation!

2026

A literal class war is literally the most literally interesting thing to ever literally happen to Fallout 76.

I’m tempted to buy the game and murder people of a different class. Unfortunately, I’d rather wait for the free-to-play version and murder the people that paid for the game, since both existing classes would be a class above me and thus deserve death.

2027

literally.

2028

I’d find it more interesting if the game was a much larger, persistent world like EVE, where this kind of “war” could take place on a larger scale. Especially if they like split into two societies with their own infrastructure and territory, etc.

But subscribers headhunting non-subscribers on small, instanced 25-player servers? Meh. It’s interesting on a metatextual level, but that’s about it.

2029

Man, I forgot this wasn’t an MMO. I wasn’t thinking about how tiny the game population would be on the available map.