Really, you guys? Really? I mean, at least Gordo tried.
-Tom
Sorry, Tom, but I really haven’t seen this one. The best I’ve got is that the 80 looks like a low-budget version of Dr. Manhattan in Watchmen.
Looks like that Whitely Strieber movie that I can’t remember the name of.
Ghostbusters “We couldn’t afford the Stay Puft Marshmallow prop”: A Direct to Video Adventure”?
You should’ve run with Embrace of the Vampire…
It looks a little like Groot’s ghost.
Is that Freaks of Nature?
So back in 2011, a fellow named Robbie Pickering made a little indie movie in Austin called Natural Selection. It was a darling at South by Southwest, and went on to screen at a bunch of film festivals. It was a kind of Sundancey comedy about a woman discovering her husband has a grown son, and her developing relationship with that grown son. It was mainly good for the lovely Rachel Harris as a buttoned up housewife setting out into the wider world. Even though it wasn’t picked up by a studio, it got a fair bit of a buzz. So Mr. Pickering was now ready to jump from the Austin indie scene into Hollywood.
Which he did to disastrous effect.
He was given a big budget horror/comedy written by Oren Uziel, who would eventually give us Shimmer Lake (yay!) and Cloverfield Paradox (boo!). It was called Freaks of Nature. It was about a world where vampires, zombies, and werewolfs all lived in peace with humans. Lots of opportunity for metaphors about, I dunno, racial tension and whatnot. During the movie, an alien invasion would descend on this world of vampires, zombies, werewolfs, and humans.
It was as batshit godawful as it sounds. What does it tell you that the working title was Kitchen Sink? I mean, you saw Cloverfield Paradox, right?
Once it was done, Sony was apparently mortified with the results. They just wanted it to go away quietly. So after several delays, it was slated as a 2015 Halloween release. With no marketing. And only on 100 screens. It made $40,000 on its opening weekend.
It’s actually pretty interesting to watch, because there’s a ton of talent onscreen. It’s the first place I saw Mackenzie Davis, and even in this mess, she really shines. She has a very, “Whoa, who is she?” quality. That’s her in the 40, the 60, and the 80. In the 40, she’s feasting gorily on Vanessa Hudgens’ neck. Yum. The other two leads besides Davis are unremarkable. Actually, the zombie kid – you can see him in the 20 – is pretty bad. But the supporting cast is full of really good actors gamely playing along. The 20:20 has Rachel Harris from Natural Selection, and Ian Roberts from Upright Citizens Brigade. You’ll also see Joan Cusak and Bob Oedenkirk as embarrassingly permissive hippie parents, Keegan-Michael Key as an irate vampire school teacher, Patton Oswalt as a nerd survivalist, and Dennis Leary as a werewolf. They even got Werner Herzog to voice the alien who appears at the end of the movie. That’s him in the 80.
So, yep, it’s Freaks of Nature. Thanks to @charmtrap for not leaving me hanging like the rest of you losers who apparently only watch good movies. Over to you, Mr. Trap!
-Tom
Tom, do you glory in terrible movies as compensation for your job requiring you to deplore terrible games?
I think he mistook my avatar for yours.
Yes, Freaks of Natures was just terrible. To be charitable, horror-comedy isn’t easy to get right. Great cast doing their best, though.
New 20:
Is that Leslie Mann?
The Other Woman?
Not The Other Woman.
This is 40?
I Love You Phillip Morris?
-Tom
Neither of those.
Hey, It’s That Girl!
I’ve seen her in a bunch of stuff. Just trying to remember. So close.
JANE ADAMS!!!
She played Thomas Janes’ pimp in Hung.
Now you just need a title!
Seeing as I’m not familiar with the works of Gilbert Gotfried when he was a child actor, I don’t think I know this one.
-Tom