Just a trim please... with a side of crotch

  1. Take clippers

  2. Apply liberally to your own head

  3. Have a female make sure that you didn’t fuck up/miss any parts

  4. Enjoy


Yeah, I’m with you. It’s not something you have to do that frequently, so the cost difference over time works out to be peanuts. OTOH, getting stuck with a bad haircut sucks. If someone really messes up your hair, it’s going to take weeks to grow out enough to recut, and you’ll look like a schmuck until it does. This happened to me once, and I swore never to cheap out on haircuts ever again.*

And no, your $10 scissor monkey really isn’t just as good. People with skill don’t work at the Supercuts, because they don’t have to. They work at a real salon, where they can charge a reasonable fee for their time. You are as likely to find a talented stylist at the discount hair place as you are to find a talented chef at Burger King.

(*If you buzz your hair with clippers, then sure, in that case you don’t need a good stylist. The “find a good stylist” advice is for people who actually get their hair cut.)

  1. Feign non-enjoyment


hipsters don’t cut their hair with clippers, so eff off. They let it grow out and then trim it with scissors so it looks retarded.


Until they publish a book I fear all my hipster stereotypes will be near misses.


Do hipsters say things like “so eff off”?


Have we even figured out what the fuck a hipster is yet?


Someone who can press their crotch against your shoulder.


That’s a hair dresser!


Someone who punches women in the baby.


You are as likely to find a talented stylist at the discount hair place as you are to find a talented chef at Burger King.

Good summary, Ben, thanks. :)

And I disagree about hair length being a factor. My hair is short - it’s a little longer on top than it is in back but it’s pretty short. The stylist still matters.


Reminds me of a new Office Depot commercial:



What do I have to do to purchase a custom “Baby puncher” tag for this man?


My wife cuts my hair. I don’t care if it’s professionally styled (obviously). She does a good job. However, she refuses to try the crotch to shoulder maneuver (yeah, I asked), so she’s not perfect.


That’s odd. She does it for me.



It’s true… my haircuts have sucked for some time. But, they’re certainly not 10$ anymore. GenericClips places usually charge 15$ plus i generally leave a 5$ tip. Sometimes i let them grow out to the point where they’re obviously too long because they look better messy than neat :/.

But the men i know who do go to salons end up getting Andy Griffith haircuts :/. Whether by design or accident, who can say? This is very much a function of my current city of residence, though.


This thread makes me want to go get a hair cut ASAP. Preferably from a large-breasted woman with otherwise small features. I love getting my hair washed. It’s like one of the best luxuries in the history of ever.

My husband and I go to the same salon but, true to Yuppie fashion, use different stylists. We wouldn’t go there if we didn’t get the 20% locals discount, though – stylists are expensive.




Just when I thought this thread was going to see Davy Jones…