This game is amazing.
I’m farting around on tiny baby difficulty (the Just, not like Megafat CEO Baby difficulty where enemies are straight-up window dressing or whatever) trying to learn the game, and having an absolute blast with Babylon here.
The map is absolutely wonderful. Seas to the south, with some Danes hanging out on islands. Probably expand there eventually. But…
Egypt to the west, behind a mountain range with a single wooded pass until you get well up to the north. I do something to piss them off – literally don’t remember what, but they have some beef. Okay. So the new queen declares on me out of nowhere. Oh no, a DoW early in a 4X, whatever shall I do?
Panic, that’s wtf I shall do. Egypt immediately rolls toward Babylon with like three warriors and a slinger, while I frantically force-march my lone slinger back to try and defend and switch both cities to emergency militia production.
Things are looking rough at best until I harvest an Elephant just east of Babylon and get a War Elephant from an event. Do War Elephants eat the absolute faces off of warriors and slingers? Friends, they do.
So we trample the invaders and push on toward Egypt itself, but whooooops they had retreated a couple wounded units I wasn’t able to finish off and apparently built several more. While they’re not really able to push past the Heffelump on offense while fending off the rest of my crappy troops, they are certainly more than capable of surrounding and killing the monster. So I ask for and get a white peace. Yay!
Bonus: Egypt seems to have put enough resources into this stalemate war that they didn’t settle a city site that sits north of that mountain range. So I force-march the slinger up there to camp it before the ink is dry on the treaty, grab a fortuitous Free Settler boost, and bam. Five cities.
Sucks to suck, Neferure.
Meeeaaannnwhile, my good friend Dido up north (I’ve been placating her best I can, since my shitty armies were more than occupied with the Egyptians) is happy to trade and hang out and oh god she sure did clear out all those barbarians to the east while I was busy keeping my head attached. Guess I’m not expanding that way; no way is it going to be worth trashing that relationship over that territory. Well played, ma’am.
Literally as soon as all this happens and ol’ Nebu is riding back to the palace to enjoy the spoils of a hard-earned peace, he and Amytis frickin’ fall sick and die along with Cash Money Pimpenstein the Court Scientist or whatever his name is, who had served me extremely well by tutoring the kids and generally just making things happen.
We’ll see how the new generation does! Marduk may be a cruel philanderer, but he’s well-rounded and quite capable due to his (extremely expensive, dang) education.
I am loving this game.