Texas Continues to go off the rails

Yeah, the context definitely made me do a double take.

But the hilarity of a hard-core Christian saying we have to protect the children from the Bible is also pretty amazing.

This truly is the dumbest fucking timeline.

So third graders are too young for even elementary sex education, but old enough to treat battlefield wounds, good grief.

Next up in the legislature. Sixth graders to be trained in grief counseling.

I don’t understand why they’d waste their time with teaching kids trauma care. Those are good red-blooded American boys and girls that should be packing heat and strapped to take down threats to their freedom!

Maybe we could compromise? The new program would be similar to sex-ed, but we would send the boys into one room to learn target shooting, and the girls could go to another room to learn trauma care. This would start preparing them for their later roles in life as either a DPS or Healer.

It’s Texas, though, so the boys will come out of it with a tendency to shoot the wrong people, and the girls will be taught to deny medical care on the basis of their religious prejudices.

A $25K bonus and I get to carry big iron on my hip!?!? FREEDOM!

I want to thank both of you for the great laugh as I read these today.

I would take the money unless I had to have bullets in the gun.

I think it’s a travesty that this is the only reason legislators can think of to pay teachers more. That’s what opponents should be pointing out.

Interviewee: Well I did my undergraduate in Education at Northampton but decided to pursue my masters at Columbia. I also pursued and got CSETs for both Spanish and French and took a cluster of classes around English literature as well.

Interviewer: That’s … great, things look good here but, listen, this is a tight group of interested teachers we are looking at. We need someone who is willing to go the extra mile for our schools here. We need you to raise the cattle, not just wear the hat. Tell me, what’s your preferred sidearm and have you tested in expert firearms training yet? If not, do you think that will be completed before we could accept you for employment? Have you already received your trauma and bloodwork certification yet?

If Texas passes this, I’d love every teacher to buy something like this and keep in their pocket, unloaded, for an easy $24.5k+.

Tempted to post a Seinfeld, “that’s a shame,” gif here but honestly, I don’t wish that on any IT brethren. That’s at least a quarter of a year or more of a really bad time. Honestly they could have been targeted because they are Dallas, Texas, but they also just could have been targeted because they had one dumb user who clicked on a phishing email.

Something tells me this is most likely just the latter.

The other thing to keep in mind is that not everyone in Texas is a maga chud.

It’s graphic, but click through to see the price of our obsession…


Sing it with me folks: There are more Biden voters in Texas than in New York, and more Trumpers in California than Texas. There are no red states and there are no blue states, there are just states full of unrepresented voters thanks to the electoral college, state-wide senate elections, and gerrymandering.