The I'm drunk thread

Everything else
2461

I almost got drunk for the first time ever. I had two 5% ciders and a beer while at my friends pool, and then one of my buddies says “Hey, Roger, you should try this”.

I say “Dude, I’ve had three, which is more than I’ve ever drank in an hour. If I take another, I’m going to be hammered.”

“You aren’t going anywhere for a while. Plus you just broke up with your girlfriend of 14 years. Trust me, you’ll be fine.”

“Fine! Give it to me.”

It was an 8% ABV pale ale.

According to my buddy’s wife, though, I was still walking too damn straight to be drunk. "So on the intoxication scale, where would you say I currently rank, then? " I asked her.

“A 3.”

So, there you have it, folks. I have not yet gotten drunk, but I have gotten the most not drunk I ever have yet to be.

Oh, I buried the lede. Yeah, my long-term girlfriend and I broke up. I’m fine. Nice thing about 14 years is it goes out with a whimper instead of a bang.

2462

Sorry to hear about that Roger. 14 years is a very long time. If you need to PM somebody I’ll be around.

2463

Wait…“most not drunk” would have been when your blood alcohol level was at zero, correct?

But yeah, what Rich said. Appreciate the whimper/bang thing but man, 14 years is something. I’ve been on and off that carousel a few times myself and would be happy to trade PMs or whatever.

2464

Life sucks, and then you die. Alone.

2465

Aww, chin up fire! You might die say, in a full passenger train car that’s going off a bridge due an earfquake. Not alone! Never alone! So many people around, it’s harder and harder to be alone.

Mssr. Kong, can’t imagine how weird and shocked you are now. I’ve never had a relationship last that long, but I do know that time truly does heal all. Life is very much a personal journey and all of these experiences so far are just a rich tapestry to be looked back on.

And we have many tapestries. But if you are a Scottish lord, then I am Mickey Mouse!

2466

tl;dr version: thanks all. help me figure out how drunk I got this past saturday, though.

Thank you all for your concern and sentiments. I have to admit now, though, that I think I actually reached new level of drunk Saturday night, and I need you all to pick a number for it on a 1-11 scale. But, I have to back up:

I hid my breakup on Facebook because I didn’t want everyone to see a relationship change and then get a flood of comments. I’ve instead chosen to tell people one-by-one as related topics come up. As it turns out, a fairly significant number of women I’ve told so far have since told me that they have had long-time crushes on me, etc. I’ve been completely oblivious to all of this until now, which I gather is part of the attraction.

So, I decided to take my friend’s sister up on her offer and go visit with her over the weekend while her ex-husband had the kids. I thought talking to someone who had been there might help me work some issues out. Or at least figure out if they were my issues.

As soon as her 15-month old went to bed after dinner, she began plying me with beer. Over the course of about two hours, I had 4 cans of 5.3%ABV Negro modelo. And then she popped open a bottle of brut rose champagne and poured equal amounts into oversized goblets each which could have held the entire contents of the bottle.

After drinking half my champagne (25% of a whole bottle), I began feeling seasick. Not full on sea-sick, but the “oh, i can feel it coming on and I better not make sudden moves for a while” type of seasick.

I stopped drinking at that point and told her what was going on (“You better not get sick, I will be sooo pissed!!”) and she switched me to powerade and water. It took about an hour for that queasy feeling to go away.

So, my newbie drunk questions are:

  1. What’s that on a scale of 1-11? 1 is lightly intoxicated and 11 is blacked out.
  2. Could I have reasonably finished the rest of the champagne without puking?
  3. Is the trick to true drunkness to ignore that queasy feeling?

nota bene- I’ve discovered that I’m catnip to single moms and I need to be careful and not mess with their heads. Their job is hard enough as it is. Total time from “Hi, good to see you!” to “I love you…oh shit… forget I said that, please” was 7 hours.

2467

Sounds like you had the spins, so like a 7. IMO. I don’t like getting the spins, it’s a definite sign that I’ve drunk too much and need to drink a lot of water and reach for the advil because tomorrow is going to be a rough morning.

So you went on a hot date and avoided all bases? Your story is suspicious, sir.

2468
  1. I think 1400ml 5.3%abv beer + 500ml 11.5%abv champagne over the course of two hours, on a full stomach, would be close to a 6 on that scale.
  2. Beer sits in your stomach for a while after drinking it, and adding champagne to it was probably the cause of (or catalyst for) the sickness you felt. You’d probably have felt sicker the more champagne you drank.
  3. The “trick”, I believe, is to eat a good meal before drinking and then stagger your drinks according to the level you want to sustain, drink at least a glass of water per drink, and to stick to one kind of alcohol or make beer last in the chain if combining types. Eating snacks along the course of the evening also helps.
2469

As for 2, I think no. Different drinks get you different drunk, and champagne, especially on the less expensive end, gets a pretty bad drunk (relates to the sugars, I believe). Some may make you sleepy, or nauseous, etc. Or may make you lose all coordination.

It’s not so much powering through it as finding something that doesn’t do it, or else just blazing through it quickly. (I.e. if you go straight to a 9 via, say, shots, you never hit that.)

It could also just be the way you react to alcohol. You definitely need to do some experimentation to know for sure.

(also, my condolences about the breakup)

2470

Aye. I suppose this is the kind of experimentation most people do in their teens and 20s. I’m a late bloomer, so thank you all for the advice and observations and anecdotes.

Well, the hot tub thread is a different thread. But, there’s probably a reason the L word came out so fast, don’t you think?

2471

FWIW, Lunch of Kong, I’m a single mom and I don’t love you. Come drink with me!

PS: I don’t own a hot tub.

2472

Roger. Serious question. Are you Asian or do you have any Asian blood? If the answer is yes to either of those questions then be careful with alcohol. I won’t mention your last name here since you changed it, but you might want to look up Asian Glow or Alcohol Tolerance.

2473

Yeah, my genetic heritage is about 33% sino-japanese thanks to my paternal grandmother and grandfather who were of mixed asian and polynesian descent.

So, that’s a good point. Although it seems that in the genetic lottery, I managed to avoid getting the turn red when you drink alcohol genes.

2474

Who’s drunk on Moscow Mules at the Ritz in downtown LA?

  • this guy * (points the thumbs at himself)

As Randy Newman said … “I love L.A.”

2475

WHOA HEY. ElGuapo. What the heck, man. Pasadena is like right next door.

2476

Replace the ginger ale with tonic and you have a drink :)

2477

Sometimes you suck up the drink. Sometimes the bear eats you while you’re drunk. Or something. Just keeping my hand in, bro’s.

2478

Moscow Mules are badass. What other drinks come in copper cups? Because I want them all.

2479

Yesterday at work:

— Alan

2480

Nice. What’s the occasion?